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septjan8th Offline
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Exclamation I need help. - February 18th 2012, 05:22 AM

Okay.. so I've been depressed pretty much all my life. I never talk about the reasons with anyone but my boyfriend.. but I feel the need to just spill it and get help from other people. So here goes.
When I was six years old living at my dads house, I was raped by a man that ill never know. I remember s man coming into my room smelling like beer and sweat. He came on my bed and took off my blankets and clothes. He raped me with his hand over my mouth and no care in his heart. Then he left, I curled up in my blood stained sheet and laid there. I remember throwing the sheet away.
Then my mom got us back, she started dating this really bad guy. At night, he would come into my room and touched me every single night for about 6 months.
We left him and move in with an alcoholic. That's when I met my dad again. He is a massive alcoholic. When he got mad he would hit me. One time, he kisses me in a car on forth of july.
To numb the pain I feel, I would drink and smoke and cut myself. I would go to parties and let guys do whatever cause o didn't care. I felt like that's what should happen.
I moved and met a really good guy. He has helped me so much with the constant anxiety depression and fear... I don't know what I would do without him.
I just feel like I needed to put this all out cause I have never told anyone else and my boyfriend thought it would help.
So please, I need help.
my depression is through the roof. My anxiety and panic attacks are worse. I need some advice. Please help me.
   
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Re: I need help. - February 18th 2012, 05:50 AM

First off, Welcome to TeenHelp. You've definitely come to the right place - everyone here is so great!

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that as a young child, and as you were growing up. None of those people had the right to hurt you like they did. Did you ever tell anyone that was going on? I'm glad that you met such a great guy, it seems like your boyfriend loves and cares about you a lot! Have you ever considered contacting a councilor or therapist and making an appointment? This kind of help can be really beneficial especially if you feel you're suffering from depression and anxiety. I think it would be good if you could talk to someone about this! Feel free to pm me if you ever need someone to talk to. Stay safe and take care.



Rescue is possible. Love is the movement ♥
   
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Re: I need help. - February 18th 2012, 07:19 AM

Wow=( Im really glad your bf told you to vent a bit. Talking about this stuff really does help. I think it will make things better to talk about it. Have you thought of maybe going to a therapist? Your bf could even go with you for comfort if you needed him to do so.


   
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Re: I need help. - February 18th 2012, 08:40 PM

You have many reasons to live because life is a precious gift. And even though your's has been very harmed by hurtful and horrible things, you have so much life to live.
   
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