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Pets Whether you prefer four-legged creatures, reptiles, or any animal in between, use this forum for any questions you have about your pets or pets you would like to have.

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Jack Lowden Offline
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"Replacing" pets? - December 20th 2013, 06:50 AM

Well, I posted a thread a while ago about my parakeet being sick. To sum things up, we took him to a vet numerous times & just when we thought he was getting better, he passed away today due to a tumor.

He mainly belonged to my mom & I, although my dad did care for him. When I told my mom, she was sad of course, but she started talking about getting another parakeet in the spring. He was my second parakeet, but the first one died unexpectedly after three months, so there was never any real connection. This one, we had for over eight years. I miss having my little guy around & chirping & stuff, & I love parakeets, but I feel like that's replacing him.

What are your opinions on getting a pet of the same species after your last pet died? I'm just a bit torn on it. I like taking care of animals & I want another bird to care for & love, but I still feel bad about basically replacing my last one. He was my little baby.



   
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Re: "Replacing" pets? - December 20th 2013, 10:02 AM

Hi there,

I think that it is okay if you get a new pet of the same species after you died. Of course, I know that everyone is different and everyone has different opinions on this. I think that it is very okay if you don't want to get another pet of the same species, but it's not necessarily going to be replacing your parakeet if you get a new one.

I think this because while yes, the new pet will be another bird, no animal can truly be like another one. Each animal has a different personality and a way of doing things, so you may find that this one has a different personality that you can still click with. Or, if it helps you, maybe you can get one of a different color.

But, before you get any type of pet, what's important is that you give yourself enough time to grieve. Losing a pet that you have had for a while can be really tough, so I think it's important to move on before having another pet in the house while it is still fresh. The loss will get easier over time, so maybe when some time has passed you can see how you feel.

I hope this made sense.

Really sorry about your parakeet.

-Dez


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Re: "Replacing" pets? - December 20th 2013, 10:43 PM

Simply put, a pet can never be replaced. But you can replace that gaping void in your life when they pass with a new companion. I know some people need time to grieve. My nan, for instance, just lost her dog, and she will not get a new one for several months. I however, could not live without a pet. Its not an insult to the memory of your pet to get a new one but a compliment; they were such a big part of your life that it is almost impossible to live without.
   
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Re: "Replacing" pets? - December 21st 2013, 03:36 AM

Hey.

First of all, I'm sorry about your loss. It's never easy to lose a pet.

Like Dan said, a pet can never really be replaced. They're living things, so they're all going to be unique distinctly different. I think it's a very bad idea to get a new pet with the intent (whether consciously acknowledged or not) that it will replace your previous one. That just spells disaster, because you're going to have all these expectations that the new pet will undoubtedly fall short of - because it's just that. New. It is a completely different individual, so of course it's going to act like it.

As for just getting something of the same species, I have no problem with it personally. Just, as Dez said, make sure you don't rush into it; losing a pet is hard, and it can take time to learn to cope with it. So give yourself time to grieve before you let a new pet into your life. Getting a pet of the same species isn't replacing him; it just means that you've found that species to be enjoyable to have in the past, and want to have one in your life again. So as long as you're clear about that in your mind, reminding yourself that this is not replacing him and is the start of an entirely new journey with a new pet, then it should be okay.

It can help to make sure that the new pet is significantly different to the previous pet. For example, you could get one that's a different colour or sex, so that it's similar without being almost the same. That way you're not in danger of getting them confused (having said that my mother still on occasion accidentally calls my dog by the name of our cat who died years ago, before we got the dog; and they're completely different colours anyway).

If you still don't feel comfortable with the idea of getting another parakeet, I'd recommend talking to your mother about it. I'm sure she'll understand, given that the bird was a part of your life for so long.

I hope this helped, and I wish you all the best.




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Re: "Replacing" pets? - December 28th 2013, 02:07 AM

I believe it's just fine. My cat just passed away on the 25th and I've already been looking at cats on Petfinder and Craigslist. I'm one of those people who need to have another pet after one passes away to love and care for. I'm not replacing my cat, he was my first and I'm still sad and cry over his passing, but I miss having a cat around and it's just not right without one. I always have gotten more animals after one has passed away in quite a quick time. I still think about my past animals all the time and never mean to replace them. I do sometimes feel like I'm replacing them, but I'm not. I know I'm not.


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Re: "Replacing" pets? - December 29th 2013, 03:58 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. My grandmas cat died a while ago. It was a beautiful white cat. But a year or so later, she decided to get another cat- a gray one. She really loved white cats but she thought it would get her upset all the time to have one, but without a cat she would still be too sad. So if i were you, I probably wouldn't get one exactly like your old bird. Maybe get another type of bird. It reminds you-but in a good way. If that still reminds you too much in an upsetting way, you can get another type of animal. To start, keep a picture of your bird out where you can see it. When you can get a new bird, stay similar enough to remind you in a good way but not so similar that you get upset. I hope this helped.
   
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Re: "Replacing" pets? - December 29th 2013, 07:34 AM

I'm so sorry that for your loss. I've never lost a pet myself, but I can imagine how devastating it would be (I cry at the thought of ever losing my cats ).
Pets are like family members. They are your family - little furry/scaly people. When a family member dies, you grieve. You feel sad, and nobody could ever fill their place, but you move on eventually. You can think of fond memories and live your life happily. If a new person comes into the family, your heart "expands", and you find yourself able to love them too. That doesn't mean that they're necessarily filling the space that a lost loved one once took up, but they can also bring much joy and happiness in their own right. That's how I view "replacing" pets. They're not the same at all, but they help heal. You'd love the new pet for different reasons than you loved the old one and they'd bring a different happiness, but they'd help fill the void. I don't think a new parakeet would replace the old one, but I still think you'd enjoy having it in your life.
I hope that makes some sense. I'm tired.
I'm so sorry that you your parakeet passed on. Stay strong.


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