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Taylor44200 Offline
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Unhappy I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 5th 2017, 07:28 PM

So I've been afraid of dogs all my life (I know it's sounds silly). I've just had bad experiences with dogs. My neighbor used to have really mean dogs that chased me around the block and tried jumping up on me and I ended up getting scratched. My friend always used to have a dog that would chase me around her yard trying to jump up on my and tackle me (which really scares). Anyways I'm a cat person and I have two cats that I love but my sister and mom really want a dog. My dad is hesitant because of his allergies to a dog. My mom and sister have been looking at dogs that one aggravate his allergies. I tried explaining that it isn't fair to bring a dog into this home because I'm afraid of dogs and I don't even like going to people's houses if they have dogs. It gives me anxiety. My mom got really mad and yelled whatever and stormed upstairs. Am I in the wrong here?
   
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Re: I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 6th 2017, 02:23 AM

Hey there,
First wanted to say welcome to Teenhelp!

It sounds like you're stuck in the middle because while allergies are taken seriously at home, your serious anxiety and fear about dogs is not. I can hear how frustrating and upsetting that is. I dont think you were wrong to voice your concerns. You deserve to feel safe in your home. A dog is something your mom and sister want, but do not need. This is not a service dog for instance, because that would be another story.

Have you brought up the fact that your two cats may not feel safe with a dog around? I do not know how much luck you'll have with that but maybe it is worth a shot to bring it up from that angle. I know it sucks to have to like beg to be listened to and think of ways to sound convincing because your mother should listen to you regardless, but it sounds like there may be some points of argument that will get your family on board than other points of argument.

i am wondering as well if a compromise can be made such as them getting a small dog or a breed that is known to not be aggressive at all. I do not know too much about dogs and do not know if there are such breeds or if you have to train them but if there's a middle ground, maybe you can suggest to them what you'd be okay with and what would really trigger you.
   
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Re: I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 6th 2017, 09:06 PM

It's not silly, being afraid of dogs, when you have had negative past experiences involving dogs.

It must be hard when there is conflict as your mom and sister want a dog but it sounds like you and your father would prefer not to have one. I agree with what's been said above and aside from continue to talk to your mom regarding your anxieties with dogs, I'm wondering if you would feel comfortable helping to pick out a dog, if the decision goes ahead? It may help a little since you can suggest looking for less boisterous dogs and perhaps calmer ones instead. It's also important that if you do get a dog, that you train it to stop jumping up on people as well which will be good for you, and anyone else that comes into contact with the dog.


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Re: I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 7th 2017, 02:47 AM

I just want to thank everyone who has been so supportive! You guys have no idea who good it feels to be able to come on here and have people support me and give me advice!
   
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Re: I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 7th 2017, 08:39 AM

Hey there,

First of all, you're definitely not in the wrong here. It's totally fine that you're not comfortable around dogs, and that's something your family should try to take into account. It's also not silly for you to feel this way, especially because you've had bad experiences in the past. That's all completely understandable, and I don't blame you for not wanting to have a dog in the household.

That said, I do have a question - are your family intending on getting a puppy or a dog? I ask because if it's the latter, then that means you would know what kind of personality the dog has when you buy/adopt them. That's a good thing because you'll be able to pick a dog that's not too exuberant and that you might eventually feel comfortable around. While it's unfortunate that you've had these bad experiences previously, it doesn't mean that all dogs are like that - some dogs are incredibly gentle, well-trained, or otherwise unlikely to chase you (if you don't like being chased by dogs, maybe stay away from herding breeds - shepherds, heelers, collies, that kind of dog).

If your family is intending on getting a puppy, remember that the way a pup is raised has a huge influence on the dog it will become. If you don't want your dog to jump up or nip, then set up those ground rules early. If you want, you can also train the dog not to go in certain spaces - for example you room. That way you have a safe space you can go in order to have some time away from the dog if you need.

Of course, that's all assuming that your family does go ahead and get a dog. Before that happens, I would encourage you to talk to them and calmly explain your fears. What you're feeling is entirely valid and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel bad for being anxious around dogs.

I hope this helped a bit, and good luck with it all!


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Re: I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 15th 2017, 09:01 AM

Dont feel bad. I used to be afraid of dogs too. But time will help you fight that, Im sure in the future that things would fall in to right places. Good luck to you
   
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Re: I'm afraid of dogs but my family wants one - May 16th 2017, 03:47 AM

Don't be afraid of dogs, dogs are friendly they are bestfriend. - "DOG - GOD"
   
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