Triggering (SH): ?Want To Come Out About SH?

[Oighearaois]

2am about a month ago my allergies were acting up, I was stressed, confused, and I desperately wanted to fall asleep. I couldn't think straight and my anxiety levels were threw the roof but I was too tired-brained to just get up and find my allergy medicine that would have helped me breath and fall asleep. Anyway I scratched my arm till it bled and the shock of blood cleared my brain enough to make me realize what I was doing and I stopped.
I have scratched two times before and I promised my best-friend/neighbor that I would stop. And that was...uh... maybe 7 months ago and the temptation to scratch during stressful times subsided. After this event, however, I feel the temptation stronger than I had before. I know that I don't want to scratch, it's bad for me and I feel horribly guilty after I do it but I don't know if I'm strong enough to stop on my own. I know that having my friend know about my SH has helped me stop and resist self harming, I can't stand the feeling he feels when he finds out that I've self harmed.
So I want to tell a few of my friends and my mom that I have scratched before when I was stressed because if I SH again then if they'll notice they would call me out on it and I would want to SH less.
However my mom thinks that SH is a 'cry for help' and is done to communicate internal pain to others but I scratch as a coping mechanism for anxiety not to gain attention and I'm afraid that my mom and my friends will think that I've done it for attention.
Also one of my friends committed suicide recently and my mom was best friends with her mom. I don't think that this would be the 'right time' to tell my mom that I'm mildly self harming but I don't want to wait because I know that the temptation is there especially with all the stress that's come from my friends death.
Sorry this is kind of jumpy. Do you have any advice about how I should tell my mom? (She and I are very close.) Do you think I should tell my friends? They're a good group of people I know that they care about me and I'm thinking of only telling three or four but I don't want them to think I'm doing this for attention. And I know that scratching is a rather mild form of SH but I don't want it to escalate EVER so I'd rather stop asap.

[lauri]

I would stop self harming before you get in deeprer water and that is addiction of self harm. Cutting can be addicting if you keep doing it. If you keep doing it you start to see it as a way to cope and deal with stuff. Which is very bad you should find healthy ways to cope with stufff. Instead of self harming just cry it out or scream in a pillow or punch a pillow.

PLEASE STOP CUTTING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. If you stop now it will be easier to not do it ever again vs doing it for a long time and wanting to stop. I say this from experiance I have been cutting for about 3 years. So I know what Im talking about STOP NOW. Yes tell your friends and your family your doing this so they can help you stop hopefully. Only tell your friends that are supportive and dont make fun of you. When you feeling like cutting instead of cutting talk to one of your friends about how your feeling and talk to your mom about how your feeling so they can help you.

Talk about how your feeling or write it down NOT cutting.

[Oighearaois]

Originally Posted by lauri

Talk about how your feeling or write it down NOT cutting.

Thank you for so adamantly telling me to stop, believe me I am aware how serious SHing can become. My problem right now is not the SHing, my problem is building myself a way to stop and I believe that that way is to have people know what I do. I need help with figuring out HOW to tell people. So thank's for telling me to stop, I'm trying but I need to figure out how to tell people about it first. Any suggestions?

[lauri]

Great Im glad your opean to talking to people about your promblem so they can help you. Say I have something important to say and no longer want to keep it a secret. When you let go of the secret you let go of the shame. I just would be honest and say when Im sad I have a urge to hurt myself to cope with the saddness. I need your help and support so I can talk about how I feel when Im sad so I dont hurt myself. Hope that helped. Then just go to those people you sayed that too when your sad or writre down how your feeling instead of cutting.

[Oighearaois]

Anyone else have any advice about how I can tell my mom and my friends?

[lauri]

sorry I suck

[Oighearaois]

Originally Posted by lauri

sorry I suck

No, you told me that I definently need to tell people and that this is serious, now I need to know how to say it.

[Whisperer]

Hey there,
Sometimes it's easier to start by writing a note to them. It might be easier to convey your feelings through writing then talking to them face to face. It's definitely important to tell your mom but it's your choice if you would like to tell your friends or not. Sometimes I will start by being vague about it to friends like I'm struggling with depression and having a hard time then as I get to know them more I would open up. But the first step is definitely telling your mom. You can begin by telling her it's not a call for attention, you came across is by accident and have tried to stop. You could even print out this post. Just try to stay calm when you're talking to her so it doesn't come out as a screaming match. Also if you feel this way make sure to tell your mom you are not suicidal (if it's true). Also, you might come up with an agreement to tell her when you feel like SHing or suicidal to tell her that but then you will need your space. Sometimes I do that then my mom knows to check on me every 5 minutes in my room but not to say a word or try to talk to me until I'm over it. Sometimes I will just so sit in the same room as her without telling her how I'm feeling if I can't but just so I can stay safe. You can do it! Once you get this over with it's all downhill from here.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.