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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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gymnastxxLeah Offline
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Angry ... i hate this . - July 5th 2012, 07:12 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

okay ... i've been self harming for a while now ... I've tried stopping. I went 2 months but i couldn't do it . As of the moment, i don't want to stop. and i dont want to tell my therapist.

So my sister has a notebook with her friend and i read it... She told the friend that she found out about me cutting. That she saw "razors and scissors and bloody tissues" in my room. All of which is true... But she's telling her friends ?! and she told her all about me having anorexia which pisses me off too..

i guess this is kinda just a rant... but WHY would she do that? it's none of her business, much less her friends !! and get this: she started talking about how our mom doesnt care when she doesnt eat but cares when i dont. Well of course her friend said the rational thing "thats because she has an eating disorder and you dont." But she has been MESSING with my head for WEEKS skipping meals and stuff at random and watching me play with mine an copy me. i've been JEALOUS that she gets away with it ! AND SHE WAS DOING IT FOR ATTENTION!!! i am SO furious!


I wanna fly. So I do gymnastics instead.

I'll just keep holding on to what i believe and oh I believe in you. Give me the strength for the fight and the heart to believe cause I've got to believe in you. I feel so alive.

PeacewithImperfection
   
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Re: ... i hate this . - July 5th 2012, 07:24 PM

i would express your worries to your parents about her. Im taking it that they know about you being anorexic. Tell them to start watching your sister at meal times. Tell them that shes been skipping meals and seems to want to be anorexic as well, and that she plays with her food and all. Get them to be worried about her!

I dont know why your sister felt the need to tell someone, unless she was just worried and needed to get it out. My friend told some of her friends that i was "emo' and "slicing my wrists" at any chance I got, and she also went and told the guidance counselor. Shes not my friend anymore, but i still dont know WHY she did it.




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R.I.P Mommy </3 July 1,1963-April 8, 2012. I miss you

It's a momentary relief from the existential terror of existence!

Had to get stitches for the first time due to self harm on June 2, 2013
   
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gymnastxxLeah Offline
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Re: ... i hate this . - July 5th 2012, 08:22 PM

no shes not doing it because she wants to be anorexic ... she wants the spotlight off o me and on to her ... FINE! she can have it as far as i care.

i HATE that she told people ... i dont WANT people to know! it just pisses me off !! i dont want anyone to worry about me ! i dont want anyone watching me ! making sure i'm okay... I DONT WANT THAT! UGHHHH!!!


I wanna fly. So I do gymnastics instead.

I'll just keep holding on to what i believe and oh I believe in you. Give me the strength for the fight and the heart to believe cause I've got to believe in you. I feel so alive.

PeacewithImperfection
   
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Re: ... i hate this . - July 7th 2012, 01:02 PM

Hey Leah

Firstly, congratulations on going 2 weeks without hurting yourself! It is a great achievement. Make sure you treat yourself to something nice for it

Self Harm is a very unhealthy way to cope with your emotions. What you can do instead is use some alternatives. Now, every alternative may not work for you. But don't let that stop you from trying more. Because one of them will definitely help you.

It is very important to be honest with your therapist. They won't be able to help you till they know everything. What you can do is let them know that you are not comfortable sharing certain things. Work with them on this issue. Let them know what is troubling you. They'd be happy to work with you on this and come up with a solution. Therapists are not allowed to tell anything to anyone like your parents until and unless they have your permission. Talk to your therapist about this. It might give you some confidence.

Now about your sister, at her age I wouldn't expect her to understand all this. She is behaving just like any little sister at her age would, being jealous and trying to attract attention. What I'll suggest is, let your parents talk to her. Let them explain the situation to her and tell her that they love you both equally. What you can do is spend some more quality time with her. Do some things that you both enjoy. You can bond with her over girl things like pajama parties, do each other's nails, give each other manicures and pedicures or try out new hairstyles on each other. This will give you a chance to be close to her. I know that you probably won't want to make this effort, but it is important that you do. Only your parent's intervention won't work in this case. You both need to work on your relationship too.

Good luck!
Stay strong



"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
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