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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
scarshurt24 Offline
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Exclamation Can't stop........ - July 10th 2012, 05:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay....so I thought because it was summer that I could stop and get away from my tools that I use to SH. Well, I've been just doing a little on my wrist, enough a band-aid can hide if I need to feel alive. Well....I realized that I want soo much more. I want to go all up my arm and deep too, to leave scars :/ But, I realized that I can't do that because there will be questions asked by my family and don't want to deal with that!

So, last night I did something I never thought I would've done. I carved "FAT" into my thigh and just kept making marks because all I wanted to do was cut on my wrist, but I couldn't so I just kept going on my thigh! I just wish I cared and would just shut up and hide my feelings like I did before....which I think that I am going to try from now on!

Sorry for posting on here and taking up your time!


"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
   
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Re: Can't stop........ - July 10th 2012, 05:36 PM

Don't be sorry for anything. I'm glad you are here looking for help. Please don't cut yourself. I don't know if you are going through a hard time right now or not, but please don't cut yourself to get rid of the pain. Next time you have the urge to cut, distract yourself. You can find a list of distractions here.




Member Since 1/15/2012
   
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Re: Can't stop........ - July 10th 2012, 07:41 PM

Hey there,

Don't be sorry, we're here to help and we'll help happily. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with self harm, I've told many people before that self harm can become an addiction, it's just not recognised by most people, like drugs and alcohol is.

This all seemed to occur because you tried to stop so suddenly and it sounds like you tried to stop without any help. You bottled up the feelings that SH helped you express, what I suggest is keeping a journal so you can write your feelings down instead. It will prevent another 'overload'. I think you should also talk to someone about it too, I promise it will make you feel better.

Stay strong
Anna


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I am not afraid to walk this world alone



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scarshurt24 Offline
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Re: Can't stop........ - July 10th 2012, 07:47 PM

Thanks everyone. I mean I talk to some friends about it and all, but I feel like that is all I talk about and it is taking over my life. Plus, I do see a counselor, but haven't seen her since May and probably won't see her until at least September now!


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Re: Can't stop........ - July 10th 2012, 08:03 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a lot right now, all the others are completely right too, it can become an addiction, and it's hard to get through it, but not impossible! I'm glad to hear that you wanted to talk to some friends about it, and I think that is a great idea! Don't feel like it's taking over your life, because you're trying to recover! Talking about it is a good way to start and get support. You can do it, and you should do it.

I'm sorry to hear about your counselor, is there anyway that you could call her up and ask to set up an appointment? You could maybe talk to your parents about contacting her and such.

I hope this helped a bit, you're not alone and I am always here for you if you ever need it! You can always message me no matter what. Good luck and stay strong, you can do this.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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scarshurt24 Offline
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Re: Can't stop........ - July 11th 2012, 08:32 PM

Well.....I just found out from my mom this morning that I have an appointment with my counselor on Monday at 8:30AM. To be honest, I'm kind of mad that I didn't know a little bit a head of time and all and I'm scared. It's been about 2 months and I've been able to bottle things up when I talk to people in person. I'm scared that its just going to be a wasted appointment, just like all of the others end up being.


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Re: Can't stop........ - July 11th 2012, 08:41 PM

Hey there,

I understand that it can be frustrating when your parents don't tell you things but the best thing to do right now is to forgive and forget and focus on what's coming up

You've got until Monday right? So, what you need to do is practice what you want to say to the counsellor in order to prevent bottling up your feelings like you said you do. If you think you're going to stuggle even if you practice then start a journal, so you can show your counsellor instead of talking, that may be easier as it can be completely truthful and can get your point across more easily than talking maybe can. Other ideas can include letters or a list of the things that make you want to SH and that make you upset, then maybe your counsellor can help you that way.

Good luck and stay strong,
Anna


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Re: Can't stop........ - July 12th 2012, 05:14 AM

Urges are a completely normal thing to experience when trying to quit any addiction, so don't feel alone in that prospect. You're just going to have to try find some various ways to avoid falling into the temptation. Like removing the "tools" that you use to self-harm completely from your house. If one of them includes a razor for shaving (which us females tend to do a lot of), it is best that you sacrifice some hairy legs rather than leave it there to press your urges. You could also surround yourself with pictures/colors that bring you peace and comfort, which is something that I learned from my counselor. And start telling yourself what you like about your looks or personality, even if it's something simple like your eye color. The right surroundings and attitude can make a huge difference, believe me. Whenever you have an urge, just try your best to focus on something else and go outside for a jog, or play with your pet, or call some friends, or just sit outside and read. Anything simple and easy to help you resist.

But you have mentioned bottling up your feelings, which really isn't healthy for you. I agree with ForeverAnna, that perhaps you should keep a journal to let some emotions out. Or, if you don't wish to keep a journal for fear that it should land in the wrong hands and end in disastrous results, you could always write poetry, listen to music, doodle, read, knit, cook, or anything else that might help you release some of the baggage you seem to be carrying. You don't want to just bottle everything up inside and vomit all your emotions on your counselor continuously, or refrain from telling her anything at all.

As for the appointment - go with any of the ideas suggested by ForeverAnna. You could also just start it slow, going from easier topics like, "I've been feeling tired lately." to, "How can I feel better about myself?"

Overall, just know that you're not alone. And think of us cheering you on against the fight of self-harm. Maybe that'll help you too.
   
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Smile Re: Can't stop........ - July 12th 2012, 09:06 AM

Okay. First, don't be sorry. That's what this site is for.
There are so many alternatives to Self Harm. I used to cut, and i know how it feels to have no one understand. Have you heard of the "Butterfly project" ? Search "Butterfly project" on google, and choose the teen help one! it wont let me link it right now though.
You can also hold an ice cube to your wrist. I know it's summer, but have you tried speaking to a school counselor? They can help a lot. You can ALSO call a help line, i don't know what city you're in but google it! Good luck!!!
   
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