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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
shiro Offline
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Question How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 10:10 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

(by the way, my name's not actually shiro.)

I started SI around last november. I remember, it was because my dad was in jail again. It started out with scratching and beating the crap out of my wrists. Then i started collecting sharp objects. A few nights ago, i burried them. I want to stop. So bad. But then i found out that again my father was in jail and i got so upset that i pretended to go on a walk while i went to dig everything up and take it back inside. Then i used them. My friend already knows, but shes not really supportive... she doesnt diss me or anything but she didn't really know what to do when i told her so she just told me to quit and changed the subject. Onto my mother. She understands how upsetting it is for me, but she doesn't really know. Her dad was always there, he loved her all his life. her mom died when she was young, and i know it sucked. but he remarried my memaw who raised her like her own. so she had the support of both parents.

My dad was always in and out of jail. He's currently serving 2-10 years. She is a recovering drug addict. She was there physically when i was little/growing up, but up until the last few months when she sobered up, she wasnt really there for me. But she always tells me, always has "I know i really shouldn't have to worry about you following in me or your fathers footsteps or doing anything stupid because you have your head on straight." she doesn't know, and i don't want to dissapoint her, because i know its extremely stupid.

Her lawyer killed himself, and she just went on a rant to me about how much of a p***** he is and that anyone who does that is just the same and stupid and should go to h***. The part that hurt was even though she didn't know it, i was planning my own death in my head about an hour before. obviously im here and i didn't go through with it. That made me feel stupid and worthless.

I dont want to dissapoint her, i dont want her to know just how stupid i am. Should i tell her? How did your parents react?

Last edited by shiro; July 14th 2012 at 06:43 PM.
   
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Re: How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 08:29 PM

Try to stop with the SH and suicidal stuff...and if you can't, tell your mom. I'm sure she'd rather be disappointed than have her child die. Stay strong! I'll pray for you.
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Re: How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 08:37 PM

I understand that you feel your mum will be disappointed I doubt she will be she wants you to be happy not upset. I thought my mum would be disappointed when I did it but she was scared for me and worried.

Best way to tell her is when your sitting down calm and “Say mum I need to tell you something” and just try to tell her. Or you could write her a letter and let her read it.
She loves you. You also want to get better, one of the hardest parts is telling her.


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Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


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Re: How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 10:53 PM

You really need to tell her. She won't be dissapointed in you. I am sure she would want you happy. Just sit down and let her know how you have been feeling. It may be the hardest thing ever, but it will be worth it when you get the help.

Look up the butterfly project if you wanna kick it yourself.
I have been self harm free since March 18th. I had been depressed for over 3 years, and I ended up almost trying suicide, and cutting more than the normal 2-3 times, I cut 15 times. I went to a pysch hospital, where we had group therapy and sessions with counselors. It was really REALLY helpful.

Good luck to you





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Re: How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 11:22 PM

Just read my signature


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Re: How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 11:58 PM

Hey,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much!

First off, let me tell you that i understand. I was VERY scared to tell my mom for the same reason. I didn't want to make her sad, or disappointed in me.

Truth is, she took it a TON better than I thought she would. She did get sad, any parent will. It's not fun to see your child struggling, but she was able to help me and to find help for me so that I could heal and get better coping skills.

I would honestly tell your mom. I dont think that she will be disappointed in you, even if she has a hard time understanding it... she doesn't need to, to an extent. A professional will understand and be able to help you, but in order to get that help you have to tell your mom.

You can get out of this cycle, and it may not feel like it now... but you are WORTH it. You are worth life, and I know you may hate it when I say this, but...

It does get better.

Stay strong,
Shelby


   
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Re: How do i tell my mom/how did your parents react - July 14th 2012, 11:58 PM

Hey,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much!

First off, let me tell you that i understand. I was VERY scared to tell my mom for the same reason. I didn't want to make her sad, or disappointed in me.

Truth is, she took it a TON better than I thought she would. She did get sad, any parent will. It's not fun to see your child struggling, but she was able to help me and to find help for me so that I could heal and get better coping skills.

I would honestly tell your mom. I dont think that she will be disappointed in you, even if she has a hard time understanding it... she doesn't need to, to an extent. A professional will understand and be able to help you, but in order to get that help you have to tell your mom.

You can get out of this cycle, and it may not feel like it now... but you are WORTH it. You are worth life, and I know you may hate it when I say this, but...

It does get better.

Stay strong,
Shelby


   
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