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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Tigereyes Offline
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Last Night - July 19th 2012, 01:25 PM

Things have been kind of rough the past few weeks. Just too much for me to deal with. Well last night things got way out of hand. I decided I was done living this life. I wasn't going to kill myself or anything, I'm way too scared to ever consider that, but I started packing a bunch of things so I could run away. And the thing is, I could've run away this morning and gotten away with it. Once I had everything packed, I realized I had nowhere to go and just broke down. I actually didn't want to cut for once, I just wanted out. I cried for a long time, and then I got really bad urges to cut. It was so bad that I almost didn't even try to prevent it. I didn't care anymore. But I tried to put it off for a while for my friend because I didn't want to hurt her. I still ended up giving in though. After just a week and a half. I'm such a failure. Worthless. That's why I was going to leave-it's not like anyone would care anyway. No one wants me around. I'm just a waste of space. I should just give up trying to overcome the cutting. There's no way I'll ever make it. Why not let it just take over me? It'd be so much easier. If anyone actually reads this, I'm sorry I wasted your time.


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last Night - July 19th 2012, 02:51 PM

Hey there,

You are NOT a failure, and you are not wasting anyone's time. You are so strong, you tried and sometimes we don't always succeed. That's just the way it is. But you tried, and that's what's worth it. And you'll try again, until you do succeed. A week and half is a great achievement, It truly is a lot. It wasn't for nothing. It will get better, yes recovery is hard, and self harm may seem the easier route to go, but you know, Self harm isn't work it. You are. Your well being is worth it, you being happy is, you recovering is worth it. You CAN do this. We're all here to help you get through this the best we can.

I know sometimes distracting ourselves doesn't work, and sometimes the alternatives we try don't, try new ones. Try getting on here and talking to us, read the self harm alternatives list a few billion times! And here's a new thread that I just found this morning posted by lovely Laura: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...-self-harming/ It really touched my heart, and maybe it'll help you too?

You are not worthless, you are not a waste of space, you are not a failure, You shouldn't give up, you WILL make it.

You are strong, and you are brave and you can get through this. Don't forget that, ever. If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me. Good luck and take care.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last Night - July 19th 2012, 03:08 PM

Hi there,

You should be so proud of yourself for reaching a week and a half, that's a great acheivement. You're not a failure, everyone makes mistakes it's called being human, we'd never learn if not for mistakes, so next time you try to prevent your self harm you'll know what works and what doesn't and also what can trigger urges.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, but I know you said you're too 'scared' to consider suicide an option, that doesn't make you weak...Wanting to live even though you're having a hard time makes you SO strong and you should be proud of it.

Distracting yourself doesn't always work as mentioned by Alaska, so you can try the other methods in the alternatives. Also, there's a new thread by Buttercup 'Reasons not to Self Harm' which is great, because reading that might stop some of your urges.

Stay strong,
Anna


I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last Night - July 19th 2012, 09:51 PM

Thanks guys. I just feel like I should be doing better than this, but I can't because so many things in my life are going wrong. I keep messing up, and I'm always blamed. It's so hard to believe I'm worth anything to anyone. Most people don't even care anymore. They've basically said so. The others never cared except about making my life hell.

I read Laura's post; thank you for linking it. Some of those things are what I've tried telling myself, others are new. It's just, sometimes I don't care anymore. I stop caring about trying to get better, I don't always bother with alternatives because I know that at that time, they won't work.

I don't feel strong for being too scared to consider suicide; I don't feel weak either. Miserable for having that thought. I just wish my life was worth something-all I do is waste time trying to survive another day. People say to work more at my job, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I'm still just using up my time for nothing. Because I am nothing.


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
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Re: Last Night - July 20th 2012, 05:19 AM

You are NOT wasting anyones time!!! And you AREN'T a failure... You are NOT nothing... Im sorry about all the tough problems you are having... Just know if you ever need someone to talk to, Im here, feel free to PM me...




4/26/2012 quote of the day at school:
"Someone called me dellusional
and i nearly fell off my
unicorn"
-unknown

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shame if you didn't
give it your all."

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Re: Last Night - July 20th 2012, 02:06 PM

I will keep that in mind. Thank you Lia.


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
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Re: Last Night - July 20th 2012, 02:17 PM

You can't stop caring. You need to care in order to stop cutting. Honey, things are rough but everything does get better. You need to believe that, because if you don't and just focuse on the negative you're not helping yourself any. Have you ever considered thearpy? I went to thearpy and it helped a lot. I saw life in a whole new perspective. I faced my fears and i'm so much more happier and i know that if you give it a shot, you could be happy too!


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

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