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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
scarshurt24 Offline
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Exclamation Last night..... - July 25th 2012, 02:19 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Soo....I'm not making it :/ I'm not making it at all I don't know what else to do. I'm just about to give up all together and shut everybody out and just keep things to myself. When I need people they are busy and when they ask if I'm okay I say..."oh yeah I'm fine" And they usually believe me or it ends at that. I don't know what else to do?? :/ I thought I was getting better, but recently I'm not caring and just want to keep going further down this road.

Last night I got a new razor out and tried to go even deeper than I've been, but it didn't work and all. But, I've started going further up my arm and I'm really scared that I'm turning right back around to where I was before with marks up and down my arm to gett that sensation feeling.

I do see a counselor, so yeah.

Sorry for rambling......


"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
TheCrowing Offline
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Re: Last night..... - July 25th 2012, 02:40 PM

The main thing that will help you stop is 100% wanting to stop, and believe it too. We've all had our days where shutting everyone out seems like the best idea possible, and honestly, it's one of the worst. I've lost a lot of people who I thought didn't care.. Just because they wanted to respect my privacy and let me have my space. I think that you should talk to these people, not shut them out. If they ask if you're okay, you shouldn't lie if you trust them. Telling them you're fine when you're not will either result in them actually believing you, or they'll take it as a 'No, but I don't want to talk about it/leave me alone' type response.

There are going to be times when it feels like you're going backwards, or things keep getting worse, and maybe it is that way.. But you can't let yourself fall into that. Pick yourself up and keep going strong, because honestly, it's the only way to get better. It feels like it's the only thing on your mind sometimes.. Do something productive, talk to other people, go out and have fun. The only thing that's not letting you overcome it is yourself. I know it's not easy, a lot of people struggle everyday to not SH.. but it's definitely possible.

Keep your head up.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last night..... - July 25th 2012, 03:51 PM

I agree with the above comment.

Stopping takes determination and strength. You have to do it for yourself. To get yourself healthy and happy. Stopping takes you feeling it in your heart and knowing that it's best for you.

Please do not go back down that road. I did the same thing a couple times before, and believe me, it's not worth it.

Shutting people out is never a good thing. Sure talking about it is hard, but it helps. More than anything. Keep your chin up babe. -hug- I'm here if you need me, PM if you want. ~Kayla.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last night..... - July 25th 2012, 04:05 PM

Hey there,

It definitely takes determination and will to stop but I know that you can make it and you can get to that point. You said that you are seeing a counselor so why don't you go ahead and let him and her in on the struggles you are having? I know how absolutely scary that can be at times but in the end a counselor can only help you with as much information as you tell them about your struggle. It is also important to remember that your counselor DOES want to help you and DOES want to see you overcome this.

As for your friends why don't you sit them down and let them know that you are not doing okay? I know that you want to do this all on your own but in the end sometimes we need a little bit more support than we can give ourselves. And I assure you that there is absolutes nothing wrong with asking for help. Also, why don't you reach out to your family about all of this? At first they might not be able to understand it all but that doesn't matter because their main concern will be making sure that you are okay.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
scarshurt24 Offline
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Re: Last night..... - July 25th 2012, 11:27 PM

I want to stop! I really do!

Welll.....I guess I'm just a freaking screw up because I just made some marks all the way up and down my arm right now I don't know what has gotten into me though :/ Such a screw up!! Failure! Idiot! Fat! Whatever else you want to call me!


"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last night..... - July 26th 2012, 02:26 AM

HEY. Stop talking like that. Change your mind set about how you view yourself. You ARE NOT a screw up. Before you can ever begin to recover, you HAVE to change the way you look at yourself in the mirror. You have to be able to look at yourself in the eyes and say "I am worth recovery. Mistakes can be avoided if I stay strong. I am beautiful and I deserve to be healthy. If I slip up, that's okay as long as I bounce back."

Seriously. Do that. Stop talking about yourself like that.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
TheCrowing Offline
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Re: Last night..... - July 28th 2012, 12:49 AM

You say you want to stop.. but do you believe it deep down, or are you just telling yourself that you want to stop. For example, I could tell myself all I want that I should watch what I eat and exercise more.. but if I don't truly and whole heartedly believe in doing that, it'll either be hard to keep up with it, or not happen at all. Dealing with your feelings about SH is the same thing, but a bit more serious.
If you truly want to stop, set goals aside for yourself. If nothing works for you, try to do what I do. I take away anything that might seem reward worthy from my life. Ice cream, for example, body art, Chipotle burritos, concerts, new vinyl.. I don't indulge on those things. I set a goal for myself in the beginning.. go a week without it. When I reach my goal, I get to reward myself. Up the goal.. maybe go two more weeks.. a month from the day you reach your goal, two months.. etc. It works. Try it. I reached one year total without having any more than a few small slip ups (which we all have), so I'm getting a tattoo soon to reward myself for keeping to it.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Last night..... - July 28th 2012, 11:33 PM

Hi there,

Stopping self harming is a process. We can not control the urges but we can control our actions and ultimately the only person who can stop you from hurting yourself in any way, is in fact yourself. It is often very hard for people but its in your control and you CAN do it. Because you are stronger than self harm and you don't deserve the pain that you inlfict upon yourself. You're here, asking for help which proves you want to stop so now its about figuring out how to sort this all out.

You say you see a counselor. What type of things do you do with your counselor? What therapy do you do? What do you talk about? Do you feel that you benefit from your sessions with them? I know its a lot of questions but I think that what you're doing isn't helping and its time to change things a bit and make a change happen to the way you're feeling. If you can try and figure out what you think will make your sessions more beneficial with your counselor, it might well be worth it.

And we're always here to help you as much as we can. You're not alone and you can and will get through this if you keep a positive mind set, put things into perspective and stay dedicated and determined.

Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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