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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
devildog Offline
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Exclamation I cut myself for the first time.. - August 9th 2012, 12:23 AM

First off.. im new here so.. Heyo! Im a 15 yeard old boy im a freshman in HS and you dont care about my problems so ill skip that part and just tell you I cut myself for the first time last night. I felt..... amazing. I think about it all the time now. I cut six or seven times today. fuck. i would get help ASAP but i cant. i want to be a Marine when i graduate HS but if i get helpl and its documented or my SH/SI is documented I am DISQUALIFIED from the Marines.. forever. and if i get DQ'd ill have NOTHING to live for anymore. Help.....

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; August 11th 2012 at 07:16 AM. Reason: Removing triggering prefix
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 9th 2012, 01:51 AM

well im sorry for you have you told any1


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 9th 2012, 02:14 AM

No. And I've cut twice more now. I'm a fucking mess. I wish I was dead.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 9th 2012, 04:09 AM

Hey there,

First of all, I am so sorry that you're struggling now, but wishing yourself dead isn't the way to go and neither is hurting yourself. I know how addicting self harm can get and it really does suck, and you can get through this, you just have to pick yourself up. You are so brave for asking for help, and we do care about your problems, we're hear to help, so if you want to add in some stuff feel free to! We love to listen.

Okay, you don't want to tell anyone, I entirely understand that and in your position it really does suck. I do highly suggest talking to someone. Maybe a friend who you really trust? You don't deserve to go through this alone, at least think about it as an option.

You can also try some alternatives as well, instead of self harming you can do a hobby, work out since you said you're planning to join the navy, or you can just talk to someone about anything to distract yourself! Personally, I like to run because it gets me away from everything that's bothering me. Here's a list of alternatives you might be able to try: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ just go through the list and try out a few,but don't get discouraged if the first few don't work, just keep trying.

I hope I helped even a little bit, feel free to message me if you need to talk Good luck!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 10th 2012, 12:43 AM

Hey sweetheart.
Welcome to Teenhelp!
I am so sorry that you're going through this. I understand the urges, the 'needing' the cuts. I've been there. I am there still sometimes. But take it from someone who is literally in able to get professional help - you need it. No matter what, you need it. And please do not think like that, believe me, no one would like it if you were gone. But see, even if you don't get into the Marines, then maybe that wasn't your fate. Maybe there's a bigger purpose for you in the stars. Maybe you're meant to be on this earth for something that's much greater than yourself. Listen, I know what it's like to feel how you're feeling. It's hard. But I am proud of you for posting and reaching out! I hope I helped and I hope you get better. If you ever need anything, I'm here so just PM me if you need to talk. ~Kayla



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 11th 2012, 04:14 AM

Thank you all for the replies. I'm gonna start trying those alternatives and maybe PM a few of y'all. I'm really happy that y'all were so caring and not judgmental. I feel welcome. Anyways it means a lot.
But today I was at a taco joint and this girl that works there was talking to me and she had bloody fresh cuts and I lost it. I had no idea just seeing a cut was such a huge trigger. I had a razor before I got to the *locked* bathroom and cut in the middle of the resturaunt... so embarrassing.
Does anyone know who I can talk to for private like off the book help who won't notify my parents..? School counselors arnt an option...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 11th 2012, 07:21 AM

Hey there,

I am glad that some of the replies helped! It always feels good to find a place where you can talk about your feelings and not feel judged. I think something that could help you deal with all of this is figuring out what your triggers are; if you are able to understand what triggers you you can slowly work on figuring out ways to avoid those triggers or start dealing with those triggers so that you are better able to cope.

As for the alternatives, I think it is great that you are going to give those a try. Remember that even if they don't work at first the more you use them the more likely they will be to work as time goes on.

One thing I would suggest is that you try keeping a journal or you blog. I know that those are two things that help me and maybe they will help you as well.

As for a place you can go for help, I am not 100% sure about all of that but maybe you could try going to a school official and explain to them your concerns about seeking help due to wanting to be in the marines and go from there? Maybe they will be able to give you some ideas as to where you could seek private help?


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 11th 2012, 08:14 PM

I understand triggers. Sounds and places even trigger me. I'm sorry, it sucks.

And we're not here to judge you. We're here to help sweetheart.

I agree with ~CourageousSurvivor~ about the writing in a journal thing. I keep a positive thoughts journal http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-d...ject-you-guys/

and that really helps me a lot. So maybe you could try it and see? :3



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 12th 2012, 05:20 AM

heyy. im a freshman to and ive been cutting for along time. it makes you feel good the pain masks all the other pain that is happening and for a sec everything is okay. if you want to stop though you should try the butterfly project. draw a butterfly on your arm or wherever you cut in pen or marker and you cut wash it off. everytime you cut you kill a butterfly. make sure to name the butterflies after ppl tht you love. it doesnt work for me but maybe it will work for you. good luck xD
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 12th 2012, 05:37 AM

I'm a guy and a redneck. So killing butterflies..... won't phase me. Even I'd they we're real. Some I hunt to kill as "therapy" lol
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 12th 2012, 05:50 AM

Okay no killing butterflies...I get it, I can't do that one either.
You could always find things to punch (other than walls) Maybe if you have or could get a punching bag you could punch that to get out your feelings. Or you could try running around your block, swimming or any other physical activity.
I am not really a sports person but I know that exercise is a great way to get the same feelings and it is a whole lot safer. Also it will help with you building muscle for your goal of going in the marines.
You said you cannot talk to a school counselor.
Maybe try calling a hotline, or using sites such as The Hopeline where you can chat online with someone that will listen and can give you advice.
Also maybe you could look for support groups for adolescents in your area that struggle with Self Harm or anything else you struggle with. They are usually open to anyone that is in the age range they are for and you do not have to be refered by a counselor or therapist usually.
Hope this helps.
You can send me a PM or VM if you ever need anything.
Take care.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 12th 2012, 06:14 AM

Hi there.

Firstly, well done for coming to us for some help and support. I think its great you've taken the step to post here and I'm also really glad that you've found some of the replies back to you helpful.

I wanted to reply to ask you whether you know what has triggered you to start self harming? Have you been under stress or perhaps been through a traumatic experience etc? Maybe if you could find the underlying problem and work through that, you'll help the urges to self harm decrease. I was also wondering what you personally feel you get from self harming? I know some people feel the physical pain stops the emotional pain, some feel in control and others feel the need to punish themselves and so on. What do you feel you get from it?

Definitely check out the link to the list of alternatives. Now remember not every single thing is going to help you so its all about trial and error and not giving up when something doesn't work. Like already said, keeping a diary/journal might really help you to vent some of your thoughts and emotions and that might help you. Its worth a try.

Now, as hard as it is, you're in control. The only person who can stop you from self harming is you. So you need to distract yourself as much as you can and work through things with someone and beat it. Because you can. Its down to you. People can support you all along the way but at the end of the day, you're in control.

I know this is hard but you can do this so keep on fighting. You're not alone and things can get better for you.

Jessie


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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 12th 2012, 08:47 PM

Palmolive: thank you and I feel relief. I know it sounds stupid but it's like the emotional aim is... Either pushed aside for a second or masked (like febreeze lol). I've had quite a few.... experiences.... but I can almost always handle things I'm self. I'm usually thick skinned. Maybe it's a self worth thing. Maybe it's a cry for help. I don't know.

Total light storm: thanks for the reply. I do enjoy being in MMA. As cruel as it is I beat the sh** out of people as a sport and it helps. Also I'm on cross country and wrestling. Running and wrestling work wonders as well. I know you sent a sports person but you should give it a shot. Especially contact sports. Maybes it's just my testosterone talking ;D
   
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Arrow Re: I cut myself for the first time.. - August 15th 2012, 12:26 PM

I'm not gunna lie... i cut myself to and my boyfriend hates it!!! So, everytime i wanna cut myself, i think of the person important in my life and think of how they would feel if i do it...
   
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