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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Angry self harm free? i think not. - August 9th 2012, 09:14 AM

well, my mom found some more cuts on me recently. she said that if she saw another cut that she was gonna start strip searching me everyday, and im sorry, but when someone tells me something like that, it makes me wanna put a cut on every single square centimeter of my body just cause. definitely not helping my self harm free thing. im at a week now. wonder how long thats gonna last...


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Re: self harm free? i think not. - August 9th 2012, 01:45 PM

Hello Brandy, to try and stop harming remove the objects that you use to harm yourself. I know it's not going to be easy but you can get through this. Paint or draw a picture, Exercise, Listen to cheerful, happy music that's positive or write poetry, stories it can be anything except for self harm. You can use anything that will keep your mind and hands busy.Tell someone you trust like a friend or best friend who you know very well and can keep it private like a secret because no one needs to know you cut yourself that's private and it's your personal stuff. If there is no one you can talk too You know you can talk to all the other members on TH and me we help people who do self harm and all sorts of things etc. You matter and we want to try and keep you happy and safe. You can confide in us. If none of this works you can talk to a counselor they are trained to help people who do self harm and other things. I hope this works. I will always be here for you to support you and be there for you.
   
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Re: self harm free? i think not. - August 9th 2012, 06:27 PM

Hi there

Have you ever sat down with your mum and explained to her about self harm, how you feel and why you hurt yourself? Maybe if she understood more about it, she'd be able to help in a way which you feel is actually helping you. You could even print of some information on the internet and let her read through it to help her have an understanding. I know talking to her might be hard but it also might be well worth it.

I know recovery is hard but it's also possible and you're worth it. Keep working hard and stay positive and determined and you'll get there. You can do this and you're never alone in it. We're all root for you.

Keep your chin up
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Re: self harm free? i think not. - August 10th 2012, 07:01 AM

ive talked with mom about it before, time after time i have, but she thinks that she is already 'informed' enough. her new husband has a history so she only listens to what he says and disregards anything i try to contribute. and ive talked to multiple counselors before, i havent gotten to see one this summer though, in part bacause of some slacking on my mom, and they helped but i feel like for it to really help i have to see someone everyday. i just get so mad and i resort to hurting myself so that i dont hurt others.


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Re: self harm free? i think not. - August 12th 2012, 08:55 AM

Brandy if you feel like you want to hurt something don't hurt yourself. Would a punch bag help? So that way when your upset you can punch the bag to make yourself feel better and calmer since your taking all your anger out. You can talk to me or others everyday or now and again. I am being serious like I said you matter and I would do anything to try and help you out.
   
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Re: self harm free? i think not. - August 12th 2012, 01:33 PM

Hey there,

I think it would be a good idea for you to try going back to counseling. I realize that your mom is probably the one in charge of setting that up but maybe if you sat down with her and explained your desire for counseling she would get a little more motivation to get it started? Counseling can be extremely beneficial and once you start going a counselor will be able to assess how many times a week they feel you should be going. I know at one point I went to counseling twice a week and it helped in a lot of ways.

Also, another thing that counseling could help with is you and your moms communication. I know that seems to be an issue and if you were to convey those feelings to your counselor he/she would probably consider doing some type of family counseling.

I know it can be hard when your family does not understand your struggles and instead of making things better their actions make it worse. However, in all reality your mom is probably at a loss about what to do and she isn't thinking as clearly as normal. It can be really hard for a parent to realize that their child is struggling so much that they are resorting to harming themselves. It can make parents feel helpless.

I think it would also be a good idea to either get rid of your tools completely or hide them somewhere that makes them hard to access. I have heard of people burying their tools and while I never buried my blades I hid them in a place that was hard to reach. This helped with my urges because when I got them I would have to go searching for the blades and sometimes by the time I got through searching the urge had died down. Now, of course this doesn't work for everyone and in all reality I think throwing your tools away is the best option. I realize that this is a hard thing to imagine doing so hiding them could be a first step to slowly getting ready to throw them out. I know that when I first decided to hide my tools it helped me, slowly, take the step towards throwing them out.

Have you tried the alternatives? If not I suggest you look at the link and try some of the things listed. I think it is important to remember that the alternatives, usually, take some time to kick in so if you find them not working don't give up; keep pushing forward and hopefully you will find some alternatives that work for you. Here is the link: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/

Another thing that has helped me in regards to my self harm is journaling or blogging. It helps to have a safe place to write my feelings down so that I am not keeping them bottled up inside. Also, journaling helped me to better understand what some of my triggers were so that I could slowly work on resolving them or try and avoid them. Another reason journaling comes in handy for me is because there are times when I go to therapy and I have absolutely no idea how to convey the things I am feeling so instead of sitting there and talking about unproductive things I will bring in a journal entry that conveys what I am feeling. This helps my therapist and I start up productive conversations. Now, I realize you are not in counseling right now but hopefully in time you will get there and if you ever find yourself unsure of what to say a journal might help.

Do you have any trusted friends you could confide in about the things that are going on? If so I suggest you try letting them in and let them support you because it ALWAYS helps to have people by your side rooting you on.

Lastly, recovering from self harm can be difficult but it is not impossible. The main thing to do is never give up hope that one day you will be self harm free. Hope can carry you through many of the toughest challenges thrown your way.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.


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