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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Scars - September 6th 2012, 02:32 PM

They say scars are there to remind us and that we shouldn't be ashamed to show them. My scars remind me of everything that I have been through that has beaten me. I'm a little ashamed that I haven't won the wars. I'm not ashamed to show them. But on a day like today, I can't stand to see them. They remind me of the night that I cut and he did too. I remember the way I traced mine, tears filling my eyes as I stared at the picture of his. That was the night I sang him to sleep. The night his face filled my dreams. The night I swore I would quit so he would. That night is the night I almost lost him.

My scars leave me with tears in my eyes, hands shaking to grip a blade to make a new one, but I fight it, hoping that one day I will see him again in the golden palace in the clouds. I fight it so my heart doesn't break remembering. I still wear my engagement ring. I am his forever. With my scarred arms, the bluest eyes in Texas, his fallen angel, his wife.

They say scars show the world where we have been. Mine show that I have been to the bottom. Mine show that I can be better. Because they are just scars after all.

Sometimes when I lied, I knew he was onto me and I didn't mind how hateful I could be. Sometimes I don't want to be better.

Sometimes I don't wanna be better
Sometimes I can't be put back together
Sometimes I find it hard to believe
There's someone else who could be
Just as messed up as me

I miss him. I miss the nights we stayed up singing stupid songs that only we knew. I miss the stories we would tell each other about our scars. It always comes back to scars. Why?

Sometimes by Skillet

What do your scars tell the world?





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - September 6th 2012, 04:07 PM

Well I actually got my scars covered up by a tattoo when I turned 18, but I still know they're there.
They remind me of my younger self, of rash decisions and broken promises. They remind me to think about what I say before I say it, because words really do hurt and I of all people should know that. They also remind me that when the time comes, I should try harder than my mother did, to listen and understand my kids and not just be concerned with myself.


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Re: Scars - September 6th 2012, 07:54 PM

thank you for your story





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - September 7th 2012, 02:28 AM

To me my scars remind me of all the things i did and am still doing. They remind me of the things that got me to the point of damaging my skin. And they remind me of how im still recovering.





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Scars - September 7th 2012, 04:11 PM

Everyone has a story. I want to learn your stories. I want to know you all better. I want to know what makes you strong. I want to know where you have been. I want to follow you down and drag you back up. I want to show you the clouds. I want to show you the sun. I want to show you peace and what it feels like to be loved. I love you all. So much.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - September 21st 2012, 12:34 PM

please continue to share your stories. i'm really interested in knowing what drives people to cut. i want to know more about you. i want to know you and love you. i love you all.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - September 21st 2012, 01:51 PM

Hey there.
I love this story, so much. Its so full of emotion, and brings tears to my eyes.
To me, my scars prove how much pain I'm in, where I've been && where I'm at now.
My scars are slowly disappearing, and I hate it. It's like it proves that behind that smile, there's somebody struggling on the inside.
I really, really like this. It reminds me of when E (my boyfriend) threatened to cut when I told him I couldn't stop. I'm trying to stop, for him.
Thank you, again, for sharing.
~paula


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Re: Scars - September 21st 2012, 03:18 PM

Thank you so much paula. I have seen the bottom and I don't want to be there again. I have a dream. I have toured the college of my dreams and I don't want to hit the bottom just when I have reached the top. I miss him so much my heart breaks. I remember every fight, every tear, every smile, every kiss, every hug, every touch. I remember everything. I want him back. How can this be God's plan for me? How could He do this to me? How could He take my sunshine away? My scars are there. I have given everything I am to Him and in return He took my husband.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - September 28th 2012, 02:28 AM

I'M NOT GOING TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS KILLING ME. I'M NOT GOING TO CRY. I'M NOT GOING TO THINK OF YOU NEXT TIME I WATCH OUR MOVIE. I'M NOT GOING TO ADMIT THAT MY FAVORITE COLOR OF EYES IS HAZEL BECAUSE OF YOU. I'M NOT GOING TO ADMIT THAT I REMEMBER ALL YOUR FAVORITE SONGS. I'M NOT GOING TO ADMIT THAT I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU. AT LEAST NOT OUT LOUD. BUT I'LL SIT HERE AND CRY MY EYES OUT WISHING YOU WERE BACK IN MY ARMS BECAUSE I NEED YOU. YES BABY I NEED YOU.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - September 28th 2012, 07:37 AM

I don't really notice mine anymore. I can't avoid looking at them (they're quite extensive), but they've just become a part of me. They simply represent other times, other places and things I have struggled with. What's done is done, and it was time for me to continue my journey. I've left all of that behind now, and moved forward with my life, so I don't look at them with pain or some other emotional reaction.

The only time I really notice them is when people stare at me or when someone asks about them or pays close attention to them. When that happens I can feel a number of things: uncomfortable, anxious, annoyed, angry or neutral, depending on my mood and who the person or people are. I don't like attention called to what is different about me, and I appreciate it when I meet people who don't even skip a beat.



The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
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Re: Scars - October 1st 2012, 04:51 AM

I never cut myself (I tried but I think God protected me. I was pressing extremely hard, hard enough to cut the skin but it didn't show. I felt the pain and saw the white line but it didn't work.) So I resorted to burning.
When I burn, it's for the pleasure. But it shows that I am just a wimp. That's what I tell myself whe I press the flame to my skin. But the pain lasts, and for that I am grateful.
I'm trying to get my best friend to stop cutting though but she doesn't listen to me anymore.

Jay.


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Re: Scars - October 1st 2012, 03:54 PM

i have been clean since january 25th. i swore to my best friends that i would stop and i mean to. god knows i mean to quit. the urge to do it is always there. it will be until i die. once u start its hard to stop.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: Scars - October 1st 2012, 04:02 PM

My scars are fairly new. I'm still getting used to seeing them on my wrist. I don't want to cover them, although for a while I thought I did. I find them to be a reminder to me that I do have ways to overcome my depression. Which sounds crazy, but it's true. I look at them and think I am loved. And this has happeneds for a reason. God has a plan for me, and this just happened to be part of it. Even though this has been an extremely tough part of my life, I know it will be ok. Thats what I think of when I see my cuts.
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Re: Scars - October 1st 2012, 09:32 PM

hey, i just started to self-harmlike a week ago. i try to quit, but it is hard. but if you need anyone to talk to im here.
   
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Re: Scars - October 2nd 2012, 02:02 AM

i have struggled with this since i was 13. along with smoking and substance abuse. if anyone needs a friend i'm always here. god knows i have nothing better to do.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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