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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Internal Struggle With Self Harm - September 11th 2012, 03:55 AM

I began cutting at a young age. My parents had divorced due to my dad's drinking problem. He committed suicide once he knew we were never coming back. I wondered what I had done to make him that way. I was little; I didn't know any better. When a parent does something like that, a child's first response is to be angry, hurt, and guilty for an unknown reason. As if they were not enough to make their parent stay here with them. I started having panic attacks, and the only way to get myself to come back was the scratch my arms. It developed into shaving razors and rubbing stones to scrub the skin off my arm. It reached a point where I would use razor blades and alcohol. It felt good to release that. As if I thought I deserved it for letting my parents fall apart. But one day I was standing in the shower, adding to my collection of scars, when I passed out. It was guilt. And it scared me because it no longer felt good. It made me feel worse; more helpless. Since then, I have been fighting the internal battle not to take out my fear and anger on my wrists. It is hard, and sometimes I slip up. But it's getting easier. And I can honestly say that sites like these have made a world of difference in my life. There is help. It does get better.
   
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Re: Internal Struggle With Self Harm - September 11th 2012, 04:36 PM

It's good to hear that you want to quit and your finding help on the sites. It is hard, I know from experience, but there will always be someone on here to help you. Feel free to PM me, xoxo- Lexie
   
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Re: Internal Struggle With Self Harm - September 11th 2012, 07:26 PM

Time heals all wounds, both internal and external.~

I'm glad to see that you're making progress. You're right, it does get better, no matter how hard you try to avoid that fact. The strength of character that showed towards the end of that post was brilliant, it made me smile a little. Keep it up, the progress you've made is too valuable to throw away. :P
   
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