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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Not sure how to approach this - September 22nd 2012, 06:43 AM

In my English class, I sit next to a girl I think used to self harm. I currently harm myself and wanted to know if it is rude to approach her about it. If she didn't, then it will be very awkward, if she did, I do or want of trigger her. Any ideas on how to bring it up? Or if I should at all?
   
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Re: Not sure how to approach this - September 22nd 2012, 08:46 AM

I perhaps wouldn't straight-out ask her if she has self-harmed before; I'd only do that to a very close friend or family member. But maybe asking her if you can have a bit of personal advice one day about a mental health issue would be a good way to go about it. If you don't really know her that well, you can just start off by saying you think she's really nice and is likely to give good advice. But leave it to her to bring up anything she has experienced personally; you don't want to seem intrusive. Good luck and feel free to pm me any time if you need to, I'm here for you <3
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Re: Not sure how to approach this - September 22nd 2012, 11:22 AM

Err...yeah asking straight-out is not a good idea.
I suggest you to become friends with her first (if you aren't already).
And why do you think she self-harmed? Did you see any scars or anything? After being friends, I think this would be the right approach- asking about the scars. Like, how did she get 'em and all? If she confesses, it's well and good. If she doesn't, well, don't seem too pushy and/or sneaky. It might make her uncomfortable.
Just be polite and casual. It may trigger her.
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Re: Not sure how to approach this - September 23rd 2012, 05:57 AM

Thanks! I'm no good at that sort of thing.
Greenie: that's probably a better idea. Thank you so much. <3
Artistic Soul: a friend of mine had a class with her, my friend used to self-harm and said a girl who was very popular used to self-harm also, she also admitted the girl was very opinionated and stubborn. My classmate fits that exactly and I'm almost certain it's her. Thanks again.
   
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Re: Not sure how to approach this - September 26th 2012, 04:30 AM

As self harmers, we tend to be very sensitive to other self harmers around us. I met a guy a few months ago. He was really sweet, and everyone loved him. He wore bracelets, but no one took notice because he is Hipster. He was just funny and always in a good mood. But something drew me to him. He saw me looking at him, and he instinctively tried to rearrange his bracelets to cover his wrists. I put my hand on his arm and said, "Don't." When he looked up at me, I kind of smiled and pushed my bracelets up my arm. "So.." I said, "You, too, huh?" We have been close ever sense. SH's tend to sniff each other out. And we are good company. Ease past her with it, make her feel comfortable about discussing it, and then..who knows? You may have a new friend to understand you.
   
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