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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Beautiful Lie Offline
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Unhappy Help.... - July 5th 2013, 07:53 AM

Does anyone have ideas on how to keep beating self harm I have been doing well but I can feel my self starting to slip and not sure what to do... I dont want to cut again I really dont want to put shame in my boyfriends face and he'd probably hate me if I did cut... What do I do?


Giving up doesn't mean your weak sometimes it means that your strong enough to let go <3

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Re: Help.... - July 5th 2013, 01:33 PM

Hey, Nicole!

I think you could look at some alternatives you haven't tried yet. You said you didn't want to disappoint your boyfriend, so why don't you try the Butterfly Project? You can name the butterfly after him if you wanted, as it might help stop you from doing it.

In general, the best thing you can do is try and keep distracted. Best of luck! You're doing really well!

~ Gareth
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Re: Help.... - July 5th 2013, 05:42 PM

I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't hate you! We all slip up sometimes, it's a part of recovery. Something I've used is delaying it. So for example if you want to cut say you'll wait 20 min and after that time then you'll cut. And after 20 min see if you can go longer. Even if you can't at least you were strong enough to feel the urge but not react! Every single urge will pass if you wait long enough. You could also simply go out. Go for a jog when you want to cut. That way you're getting away from the blades (or whatever it is you use) AND you're exercising which definitely helps. Even if you're just walking it's still beneficial. If I remember correctly there's a huge list of distractions on this site. Check 'em out. Above all remember that it's okay to screw up. Learn from your mistakes and move on but don't beat yourself up over it. Good luck!


♥ PM me anytime, I'm here for you ♥

Out of the ashes I'm burning like a fire. You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar. I've got shame, I've got scars that I will never show. I'm a survivor in more ways than you know. 'Cause all the pain and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused, I was broken and bruised. Now I'm a warrior.
   
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Re: Help.... - July 6th 2013, 05:46 PM

I agree with the others! Try and delay the timing. What I've noticed when I get the urges, finding something productive to do ALWAYS helps! Not only does it A. Make your urges go away but B. You get something done that you've been meaning to get done!

But like Emily said, I don't think your boyfriend would hate you. Because we all slip up. And believe me, it sucks. But just stay strong! I really hoped this helped you!
p.s. try the alternatives forum.


----
Just a few of my favorite Marilyn Monroe quotes

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"Everybody is always tugging at you. They'd all like a sort of chunck out of you. I don't think they realize it, but it's like 'grrr do this, grr do that...' But you do want to stay intact and on two feet."
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"I was never used to being happy, so that wasn't something I took for granted. You see, I was brought up differently from the average American child because the average American child is brought up expecting to be happy."
   
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Re: Help.... - July 6th 2013, 08:43 PM

Hey Nicole What helped me when I was still struggling with self harm was to treat myself. Do a special thing for myself when I felt like I wanted to SH and didn't. Treat it like a reward for not doing it.

Allowing what your boyfriend or others may think effect your decision may help short term, but in the long run if you are only ever avoiding SH because you feel like someone will be angry at you, you really haven't overcome SH and it always feels like an option. The decision to stop has to come from you because you as a person have decided that it is no longer something you want controlling your life.

So I guess to make a long story short, I found the thing that helped me was doing something special for myself if I overcame the temptation. Eventually that led way to me stopping entirely.

If you need to talk Nicole, please feel free to message me. I'm more than happy to chat and answer questions or listen if you need a friend


   
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Re: Help.... - July 9th 2013, 08:20 AM

Thank you everyone all your advice should really help... just a little up date... self harm I have spoken to my boyfriend and he said he wouldn't hate me he would probably cry but he wants to help be recover from not only self harm but my eating disorder and get me of the vitamins that I shouldn't really have to take... but thank you all again for your advice I'm going to try some of these alternatives


Giving up doesn't mean your weak sometimes it means that your strong enough to let go <3

Today isn't just another day, today I'll create something beautiful <3

Always feel free to VM/PM/Email me for anything always happy to help the best I can
  Send a message via MSN to Beautiful Lie Send a message via Skype™ to Beautiful Lie 
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