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Back to the beginning - July 16th 2013, 09:48 PM

Well I'm back to the beginning, I stopped cutting 2 years ago, then recently I began. I really don't why I started but now that I started I lost control of everything I did to stop. Now that I really think about it, I feel like all the people I was close to are moving father apart. My dad recently got a new job somewhere really far away from where I live, and he is the closest person who knows what i go through. I just so scared of starting a school year without my dad being there for me. I know I might sound all weird and everything, but when I started to cut, it felt like I had something missing inside of me that I found again...is this feeling normal?


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Re: Back to the beginning - July 16th 2013, 10:17 PM

Hi there.

I'm not going to say it's a normal feeling but I'm not going to say that it isn't either. I am confident that you aren't the only person who's been in this kind of situation and although you say you don't know why you started self harming again, from reading what you wrote in your post, my guess is that you're very worried about being alone and also not having support if and when you need it. What do you think? So maybe when you've having a bad moment and you're feeling alone and you feel you have no one to turn to, you have self harm to turn too, to help you get through those bad moments. I might be wrong, but it's just my thought.

Where ever your dad is, I think he'll support you. It sounds like he's been a good support for you up to know so even though he may live further away right now, that doesn't mean you can never talk to him. You could ring him 10 times a day if you wanted too. The point is, is that he is your dad and that he loves and cares about you and the fact that he doesn't live as close to you now as he did, won't stop him from supporting you, helping you and being there for you through the hard times and when you need that support. And if this is something you're really worried about, then talk to your dad about it and how you feel about the situation but I am sure he will say just what I have; that he'll be there for you no matter what. Why? Because your his daughter, his baby and he loves you and always will.

Starting a new school year can be hard but look at it in a good way. It's just a new year. So while the classes may alter a little and the work will be different, you'll still be in the same school, with the same teachers and with the same students. Every new school year is a little anxiety provoking, but you've gotten through it before and you can do it again. Take it as it comes but try and not to over worry about it. Yes, worry about it, that's normal and healthy, but don't worry to the point where you make yourself ill and give your dad a call for a chat about it and see if he can support you through it too. You'll get through it, okay? And then you'll look back and ask yourself why were you so worried about it all in the first place.

Being two years self harm free is amazing and you should be really proud of yourself for that. I know that you would have had urges in that time but it proves that you do have the strength and courage to beat the urges and overcome them. Yes, you've had a relapse, but that's not uncommon and it's about you now using it in a positive way and starting to build it up again. So accept that it's happened and start again because I'm telling you know, that you ARE a lot stronger than what those urges are and you are worth a hell of a lot more than self harm too. If you do struggle with the urges, here are some alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Of course they aren't all going to help but some will so it's about trial and error but make sure that you don't stop trying things when you come across something that doesn't help you, okay? Keep on trying new and different things.

You're a lot stronger than you think you are and I believe that you can get through this so keep on fighting through it and remember that you aren't alone and that you don't need self harm. At the end of the day, you hurting yourself isn't going to help you get better but it could make things a lot worse, you know? You're stronger than it, so turn around and take control of it. You can beat it and I know that because you have done before. And we're always here for you too, if you ever need/want a chat so don't suffer in silence.

Keep your chin up and take good care of yourself,

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Re: Back to the beginning - July 17th 2013, 05:41 AM

I know what you mean about feeling like you found a missing part of yourself. I personally relapsed after almost 9 months clean. Self harm is very addictive and once you start again, it reminds you how much you missed it. It provides that release, and serves a purpose for you. However, that doesn't mean it's good. It may be harder to fight now, but don't let yourself fall further into it. Two years is amazing, and it means you're strong enough to fight this. Try to remember the reasons you stayed strong before.
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Re: Back to the beginning - July 18th 2013, 04:41 AM

Hey there,

I am really close to my dad and if he had to move far away I would feel lost like you are feeling. Have you tried talking to your dad about how you are feeling? I know there might be a part of you that doesn't want to worry him but I am sure he would want you to confide in him and by confiding in him you might feel better. Also, maybe you can your dad can have skype nights and stuff like that. I know it won't be the same thing as having him in the same town as you but it could help. Remember he will still be there for you. You two are really close so I am sure that he will be there for you no matter what. Maybe the two of you can discuss the ways you can keep in contact just to ease your worries. I know this might sound kind of dorky but you could try writing him letters and sending them in the mail. I have found that writing letters can be really relaxing and it is really fun waiting for a response. There are numerous ways for you two to keep in contact, okay?

I know that relapsing can be really discouraging but it is important to remember that you can overcome it. I think you should consider looking at the Alternatives to Self Harm to help you fight the urges that you might have. The alternatives are a much more healthy way of coping with the feelings you are having in regards to your dad moving away.

Seeing as you are experiencing a big life change it might be a good idea to consider looking into therapy. Sometimes when people experience things like someone close to them moving away it messes with their emotions and something like therapy could be really helpful in giving you the tools to deal with it. You would have someone to talk to on a more regular basis and it would supply you with some support.

Do you have any friends that you could talk to about all of this? Confiding in people can be really hard but in the end it can be beneficial because it can provide you with the support that you need.

Something else that might help is if you get involved in clubs or volunteer opportunities in your community. This will enable you to work on finding friends and it might help keep you busy which could keep you busy and sometimes keeping yourself busy is really help.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

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