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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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convince me not to - August 8th 2013, 01:25 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

okay so over the past year I've been upping the anti with my methods and I've just spent the past half hour just cleansing my newest idea. It'll be the first time I'd have used a proper blade (if I'm allowed to mention it, idk) and i can tell this will be such a stupid idea.

i don't want to do it but at the same time i really really do.

someone convince me not to do it?

sorry sorry sorry sorry
   
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Re: convince me not to - August 8th 2013, 02:00 AM

Hey there,

I know you are struggling right now, but remember that self harm won't really solve anything at all. In the end, self harm makes things worse because you have to worry about infection, hiding everything, as well as the fact that the problems will just end up coming back anyway because you aren't really doing anything to solve them. Self harming isn't a good coping mechanisms at all, and it's really not worth all the risk. The fact that even you don't want to do it should scream something to you, that it's really not worth it, and maybe you should put down the tool and find other ways to cope. For instance, alternatives. These are healthier, safer ways to cope and you won't have to worry about any risks. These coping mechanisms aren't stupid ideas, so there will be no regret.

Try and think of any reason you can not to self harm. For instance, if you feel guilty afterwards, remind yourself of how bad it feels to have that guilt hanging over you for a while. If you have friends or family you know would really worry, think of them. If you have an event to go to and your skin would be showing, think of that. And, you can even think of how proud you would be because you said no to these urges and didn't self harm, even though part of you really want to. You can definitely let the side of you that doesn't want to do it win. Every day, hour, minute you go with self harm is an accomplishment, so give yourself a pat on the back.

You can do this, I know you can!

-Dez


   
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Re: convince me not to - August 8th 2013, 05:19 AM

Hey, Charlie! Don't be sorry, I'm glad you reached out to us! Dez gave some really good advice.

Like she said, it doesn't solve anything. You tell yourself that you won't do it again; but that doesn't go exactly according to plan. The alternatives list is a really good place to start. You can always look around the forums at the happier posts and you can message any one of us. One of the things I like to do when I am triggered is to talk it out with someone else or play the fifteen minute game. Use a positive outlet for fifteen minutes and keep resetting it as needed. It helps to stop and think about why you are triggered and maybe write it down. You can do this!


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Re: convince me not to - August 9th 2013, 06:13 PM

I was convinced bu a friend to do it and at the time, I thought, what's the worst that could happen? I only dabbled, nothing compared to a lot of the folks here, but even a little just once is enough to screw up a whole lot. There's always the problems Dez mentioned, like hiding scars, infection, family drama if you get caught, and worst, the guilt that you feel after. For me it was not only guilt but the whole time being terrified that someone would find out, even after the scars were basically gone. It's a rush, but not worth it in the least.
You can do it. We're all rooting for you! Good luck!
   
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Re: convince me not to - August 10th 2013, 05:56 AM

Hey there, Charlie!

No need to apologize, okay? We're here to help and you're certainly always welcome to get advice.

Dez and Cassie gave some great advice and I definitely suggest trying those things. The self-harm alternatives is really great, just try all the things on the list when you get urges till it passes. Find some things that work for you, because some things work better for some, while for others it doesn't work at all. So just experiment. Secondly, I find that when I get a urge, I think of someone I care a lot about. And try to get past the urge for them. Thinking of a happier memory in the past always works too.

Remember, you can recover so don't give up on yourself. Stay strong.
   
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Re: convince me not to - August 10th 2013, 10:38 PM

thanks guys. i decided not to use the blade but did end up using my usual method :L

i don't have a problem with hiding my wounds and scars because my clothes always cover them.

but i just want to mention that i don't feel guilt anymore. i used to feel so much guilt because i'm constantly seeing that it's a bad thing to do and you should stop immediately and all that, so then i'd harm even more as punishment for doing it in the first place. then i met someone, who is now my friend, and basically taught me that i shouldn't feel guilty about it because it's just a way of coping with your emotions. no, it's the not the best of ideas in the first place but if you concentrate more on coping in a different way rather than hurting yourself, you're a lot less likely to beat yourself up about it.

i know that's practically what you've all said with the alternatives but i'm just getting it out haha
   
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Re: convince me not to - August 11th 2013, 06:43 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you did hurt yourself. However, I'm glad you didn't use a blade. Hang in there, okay? You're a fighter.


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