Is it depression?

[Annys]

ok so basically im not a teen anymore, but sometimes i still feel like one, i look like one too, so lately i've been having a hard time getting used to all the back to school thing, i know im 22, and on my last year at university, so i thought i'll have everything figured it out by now, (living on my own, school, homeworks) but thats what i thought, i don't know whats on with me lately i just dont feel right, sometimes i find myself trying to smile in the outside when feeling like a burn sadness in the inside, i get to go to school, and do homeworks and pretend everything's just fine, i look forward to the weekend when i get to go home and see my family, i hate doing homeworks, getting up early to go to school i rather just sleep and sleep and sleep forever, i'm afraid of having thoughts in my head not about suicide, but what if what im not good enough on my studies, what if im not talent enough to make it, what if i was wrong? what if this sadness never goes away and just keep getting worse,? do i really need proffesional help? how am i supposed to tell others i feel this way when im supposed to be a grown up now?, i don't feel like talking to anyone about it, because im supposed to be okay, i pretend to be okay so im okay at everyones eyes. i dont know if this makes sense it really doesnt for me.

[Rivière]

Like you, I'm 22, but I never thought about my age and whether or not I should 'be an adult' and just find ways of coping with it. Some people are different, some people are older than you and I and they too suffer so much sadness they struggle with their lives. It doesn't matter how old you are, you can never be too old to ask for help. You asked if you needed professional help, what do you think? Do you feel you could do with a professional to help you with your suicidal thoughts? Sometimes it's a good idea to talk to a GP and tell them how we feel, that way they can point us in the right direction to help us get helped.

Do you think that there could be a relationship between your sadness, suicidal feelings and because of the fact you have homework and university at the same time? Not everyone can cope with them and this can often be the cause because primarily, they're stressed. I never liked homework either, I absolutely hated it to the point I'd leave it to the last minute because I had no motivation to do it and then I'd get stressed and dwell on the fact I hadn't done it. Do you feel the same way? If you don't, do you manage to keep up with your homework or do you struggle with it but in another way? If you do, you can try like I used to do, be spontaneous and do it without thinking, it's hard to switch off from thinking, "I have homework, I should do my homework, I haven't done my homework" but our mind isn't always constantly thinking about it and when we're not, it's at that point where we can take advantage and suddenly do it without thought, afterwards we feel so much better for it. You're in your final year of university, you've come such a long way! Start believing in yourself and know that you will succeed at your studies, push hard to work and get that qualification you've really wanted, you can do it! Stop asking yourself, "What if I don't make it?" "What if I'm not good enough?" and start telling yourself, "I can do this!" "I will do this!" "I am good enough!". The more you repeat it to yourself day by day, the better you'll become and the more you'll start believing in yourself. The only thing stopping you is your lack of self-esteem and confidence.

Is there someone around you who you can talk to? Like a close friend? I don't know how far away from home you are in university but if you're close to your family, how about talking to one of them? Sit with them and tell them how you feel, what's been making you feel so suicidal and work your way up from there. Friends and family are a great way of providing support and encouragement. If you don't really want to talk to either, there's always us here at TeenHelp and there's the HelpLINK advice section: http://www.teenhelp.org/helplink/ if you feel you need.

Remember that you are strong and you can get through this!