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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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charmbraceletxo Offline
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Please help me - September 28th 2013, 05:26 AM

I really want to harm myself right now. My boyfriend and I just got into an argument (he suggested that we go to the f**king PLAYBOY MANSION on Halloween--despite the fact that he knows I had an eating disorder and am struggling with major insecurity issues), and because I got upset, he's being rude and is completely ignoring me. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so, needless to say, these sorts of things serve as huge triggers for me. Please respond...somebody...I really feel like cutting myself...
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Re: Please help me - September 28th 2013, 07:12 AM

Don't do it. I know how upset you must be with your boyfriend, but don't let that be a reason for the need to harm yourself. Think about it. Would your parents want you to do this to yourself? Would your friends want for you to do this as well? If you harm yourself, you're not only hurting yourself, but others who love and care about you as well. You're free to talk to me at any time through VM/PM. I'm here to help, and to listen to what you have to say about your situation.

“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
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Re: Please help me - September 28th 2013, 01:43 PM

As Mark said try not to cut, think of the consequences of everyone, including yourself, friends and family. You could have a look at the alternatives list which can be found here, or you could even make your own list and refer to it when you need it. Another thing you could try is getting your feelings out when you feel triggered, for example, you could write them down or even draw them if you felt you couldn't write them down. Try to find out whats triggering you as that way it will be easier to stop and not self harm.

It must be hard arguing with your boyfriend, have you tried sitting down together and calmly talking things through this way you'll both know how you are both feeling. And it can be a way of talking to someone else about how your feeling which might help you, as it will give you support from your boyfriend. You could always talk to a trusted friend or family member as well.
Feel free to VM or PM me if you need to talk

I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I'm always here. Feel free to VM or PM me
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Re: Please help me - September 29th 2013, 10:48 PM

I know that your boyfriend may not have liked it that you were upset, but I really think you need to sit down with him and discuss this with him in a calm way. If the two of you start to argue at all while discussing it, you can leave the room and let the situation cool off again before coming back to the table in a calm way. You really shouldn't have to force yourself to go somewhere such as the Playboy mansion when this isn't something you feel comfortable with, ESPECIALLY when it causes your mental health to be at risk.

Let him know you know he's excited about this, but you really don't think it will be safe for you to go there, and that you really want him to respect your opinion. Maybe you can look up other places that you'd find fun and think he would too and suggest those to him as well, so he knows you DO want to do something with him, and that you do want to have fun with him. Honesty and communication are key in a relationship.

Jenny also gave you an excellent link to a list of alternatives to self harm you can try out. Remember that if one alternative doesn't work for you, don't get discouraged. There are plenty more out there, and it can take some trial and error sometimes to find something that works best for you. I personally find self expression such as writing a great way to release my emotions. Exercise, art, and music are also great ways, but you may find something better for you!

You can also try and get support from your loved ones instead of self harming. They may be able to help you work through the urges.

You can do this!


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Re: Please help me - October 1st 2013, 07:29 AM

That was very hurtful that your boyfriend did not take into account the problems that you are having. Do not let how you are feeling cause you to hurt yourself. Just try to stay calm and, if you are able, talk it out with your boyfriend. Try to explain why you reacted the way you did and maybe he will change how he is acting towards you.

What if I fall?
Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
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