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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
amanera_b Offline
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I can't do this anymore. - November 2nd 2013, 05:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I cut about 10 or 11 times in October. I promised my bestfriend I would stay clean this month and finish 2013 with no more cuts. My last cut was October 26th and a week later I am close to just giving up, grabbing a handful of pins and just tearing my arms to pieces again. There's no more pencil sharpener blades left (used all those till they were dull) so I'll have to use safety pins. It just bugs me because I promised I wouldn't but I just can't fight this anymore.


"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." - Winnie the Pooh
   
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Re: I can't do this anymore. - November 2nd 2013, 06:01 PM

I'm sorry. I wish I could help. Did you try distracting yourself. Maybe even talking to your friend about something else. Try holding ice in your hand or peeling a frozen orange or writing.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
amanera_b Offline
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Re: I can't do this anymore. - November 2nd 2013, 07:35 PM

I have been trying to distract myself. I can't reach my bestfriend at the moment because she's away at hockey. I just feel like I've failed her because I'm almost to the point of saying "Screw it" and just covering my arms in cuts.


"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." - Winnie the Pooh
   
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Re: I can't do this anymore. - November 2nd 2013, 11:30 PM

Hey there,

Even though you may not have your friend around, is there anyone else you can call about this? For instance, are there any other friends you trust that you would be able to tell? Or you can even speak with a trusted family member or family friend. There are religious leaders that would be willing to help. If you are going to school on Monday, you can talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, or school nurse. You can speak to a club adviser or coach. If there is any chance of going to the doctor soon, you can talk to him or her. It is important that you have a support system around you during these difficult times, and there will be more people like your friend out there who are willing to help.

In the meantime, maybe you can write a letter to your friend so you are at least getting everything out of your system, and you can give it to her once she gets back. You are not in any way failing her, though, and I bet that she will appreciate any effort you put towards being self harm free. Going a week is a great accomplishment and I can tell you are trying very hard to go even longer!

Do you know what it is that is triggering you to feel this way? If you are unsure, one thing you can do is keep a journal. In that journal, you can write down anything, good or bad, so it is also a great place to vent. In it, take special note of the times you have the urge to self harm by writing down the date and time it happened, where you were, what was happening, and how you felt. Then when you're calmer you can look back and notice patterns and events you may not have before, which you can try and solve or get advice on.

It's excellent that you are trying to distract yourself! I find that alternatives to self harm like writing really help me a lot. You can also draw, listen to or make music, or exercise. I find it helpful to be around people as well, even if I'm not talking to them about my problem, because if I'm on the phone with someone or with them in person, it's harder to self harm. This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. These are healthier, safer ways to cope instead of self harm. That way, you won't have to worry about hiding anything or risking infection. If one doesn't work, try not to beat yourself up. There are plenty more out there!

I know things are hard for you right now but you are doing really well by trying your hardest to keep distracted and beat the urge. It may not seem like this right now, but all of the effort will pay off. Every day, hour, minute spent self harm free when you really want to relapse is a great thing, so don't undermine any accomplishment. Eventually it will get easier for you to control the urges and beat them fully. You are taking a step in the right direction by having your friend for support and at least trying to stop!

-Dez


   
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Re: I can't do this anymore. - November 3rd 2013, 05:16 AM

Hey, no matter what, don't beat yourself up over having such feelings, or even over relapsing itself. It happens. It doesn't make you weak or a bad friend, it makes you human. Humans have feelings AND they make mistakes, which normally happens when said feelings are either really intense or virtually nonexistent. It's OK.
But Dez is right, alternatives are better, safer ways to cope and I think that trying them out could really benefit you. What helps me is to identify the reason why I want to self harm and what need I think I'll satisfy with it, and then pick the alternative best able to fulfill that need. For instance if you just want the pain, try squeezing ice(this hurts like hell, by the way, but it doesn't leave scars). Or if you want it for the calming effect try taking a nice, long, warm bath. Another thing is the butterfly project, I'm not sure if you've heart of it but it's where you draw a butterfly(s) on your wrists and write the name of someone you love and care about deeply on it. If you cut, you essentially kill the person(not literally, of course. Metaphorically). You can't wash it off. You have to wait for it to naturally fade first. Then reapply it, it's a really helpful coping skill.
As far as your friend goes maybe try sitting down and having a talk with her about your intense self harm urges and how you feel about the promise you made. Talk about why you do it, what it does for you, how you're working on it, etc. Maybe print her out an informational thing made for friends and family of those who self-harm and give it to her so that your friend will know how to help you better.
I hope that everything goes well and wish you the best of luck <3


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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Re: I can't do this anymore. - November 3rd 2013, 08:23 PM

Thanks sp much for the help guys, I reallu appreciate it. I beat that urge but I know they'll be back. I'll be keeping this info in mind.
Thanks for the link Dez, and also thanks for the info you gave me, Jade!


"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." - Winnie the Pooh
   
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Re: I can't do this anymore. - November 6th 2013, 12:09 PM

Anytime chica And congradulations on beating the urge! You are very strong.


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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