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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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juanx Offline
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Name: juan pierre
Age: 28
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Location: riverside-muldersdrift-south africa

Posts: 20
Join Date: November 4th 2013

Question what can I do? - November 6th 2013, 11:50 AM

Hey guys,how u all doing?I have made the last cut 2 days ago,my scars are fading and I feel so lost without them,my cuts makes me feel human and like I am still alive,my arms are scarred so I think that I am unloveable,that razor blade has become my closest companion,its my only release from pain,its not easy to stop,I've tried and I'm still trying,I am addicted to it,I've to go one day without cutting,I'm getting thru the whole day without cutting but when I get home at night after a long days work it feels like the blade is so happy to see me again,I know that I need help but when people want to talk to me I just don't know what to say,I just want to run away at the moment they ask me what happened to your arm or wrist or somewhere when they see it,I'm starting to loose myself again,something just triggered me last night and don't know what it is or was,all I know is that I did more cuts then the usual,the problem I have is that I want to stop but at the same time I do not.I am weird I know that,my posts are so mixed up on the feelings I have,I just want a new life,to start a new page but where to start,HELP!!!....thank you....oh and also I have lately had thoughts about suicide,I'm feeling so depressed.
   
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Ral. Offline
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Re: what can I do? - November 6th 2013, 02:00 PM

Juan,

Firstly, well done for going two days without cutting! That is a great achievement and although it is hard, this is the start of a long journey towards stopping self-harm completely.

Don't worry about relapsing, it's a natural thing for people that struggle with self-harm and we've all done it, you cannot simply stop it without relapsing atleast once. It doesn't work that way.

I know how you feel about your arms, but believe me your scars will fade, and from that your confidence will increase greatly and therefore you will feel like a happier person in general.

As for the urges and your struggle, I suggest that you look at the alternatives to self-harm on the forum, or seek help from either close friends, family or specialists.

As for your triggering issue, from now on I suggest you write a journal when you feel triggered, stating the date, time, what you think triggered you, how you feel and how you dealt with this feeling (whether you harmed yourself or not). After you do this for a while, see if you can find a pattern in your journal , then you'll be able to identify what is actually triggering you, and seek professional help in order to stop this from happening again.

As for the 'wanting to stop, yet not wanting to', that is the self-harm talking, as you progress through self-harm, it becomes more of an addiction than a stress-relief disorder. You need to keep telling yourself that you want to quit and think about what this is doing to your friends and family.

I hope this helps, stay strong and be safe.

~Jack.
   
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juanx Offline
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Name: juan pierre
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Location: riverside-muldersdrift-south africa

Posts: 20
Join Date: November 4th 2013

Re: what can I do? - November 6th 2013, 05:42 PM

Hi jack,thanx again for replying to my post,I started a journal last night,well it feels like its gonna be a long journal,I've cutted again tonight and I felt so relaxed after a while,but I'm still writing in my journal so I will see how that works out for me,reason why I cutted is there's a problem between my mother and father,they want to divorce,I don't know why,yesterday they were so happy but when I arrived from work to fetch my car and go home,my mother told me what happened between them,we'll not actually what happened but I don't know what I can do to help them well anyways I hope all is good for you and hope to hear from u again,thanx jack
   
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Ral. Offline
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Re: what can I do? - November 6th 2013, 06:56 PM

Hi Juan,

I'm sorry to hear about your parents, however I am glad that you took my advice and decided to write your journal. The length of this journal doesn't matter, it could be as long or even as short as you would like. The main message behind the journal is to record your progress, feelings and emotions so that when you look back on them, you can see what you did wrong, and you'll have an idea how to fix this problem over time.

I suggest that instead of cutting every time you feel upset, that you try some of the alternatives to self-harm that you can find here.

As for the issue with your parents, do your parents know that you self-harm? If so, you should try and talk to them about the divorce, and explain to them how it's making you feel and how it's affecting you.

You don't need to thank me for replying to you, that's why we're all here, to help, aid and support people like us - that suffer from self-harm. I would suggest that you talk to me via VM or PM though, that way you can send me a message whenever you feel the need to, and I'll try and reply as quickly as I can.

I hope this helps you and good luck with your journal.

~Jack.


PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.



"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.”

Last edited by Ral.; November 6th 2013 at 06:59 PM. Reason: Error in text
   
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