TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
FireHeart Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
FireHeart's Avatar
 
Name: Jade
Age: 21
Gender: Fairy

Posts: 204
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: October 13th 2013

Unhappy Relapsing, Too Much, and Abuse - November 21st 2013, 01:46 PM

I can't wait until you get better so that I can have an actual life, the words that just "slipped out" of my moms mouth. I've been working on quitting self-harm...not too well, I only make it to like on or 3 days and then relapse. Then I don't care and keep doing it. Naturally my mom's slip out comments on how my issues drag her down really upset me. I feel guilty all the time and just feel like apologizing for everything, which makes me feel really stupid.
I have to testify against my abuser in Febuary(sexual abuse, there are about 50 charges, all for me). But then there's the chance that I may not have to because it might just literally kill me. But there's only a couple photos of proof, and that's only for his child poronography charges. So if I don't testify he might walk in a couple years or even mounths, and that scares the hell out of me. But so does testifying, I'm not even sure I'd be able to testify with my PTDS and him in the room and cross-examination and everything. But then, even if I go through all of that there's still a chance, since this is a jury trial, that he might not get the sentance he deserves. It's just too much and it's not fair. I hate him for doing this to me. I hate how this has turned my life upside down, as if I didn't have enough abondonment, confusion, betrayel, deppression, anger, etc. BEFORE he abused me. Everyone says it's not my fault. Sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I don't. Either way I have all these scars on my body that tell this horrible story, the one that might just kill me. Yet I don't want to die, I just want to be able to experience life withought his shadow in the back of my mind all the time. I hate him.


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Hypothesis. Offline
Not significant.

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Hypothesis.'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 23
Gender: They/them.
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 19,317
Blog Entries: 139
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: Relapsing, Too Much, and Abuse - November 21st 2013, 08:54 PM

Hi there,

I am so sorry that you are stuck going through all of this, you really don't deserve any of this and I am on the side of those who say this is not your fault. You in NO way deserve what happened.

As far as testifying, do you think you can speak with some of the people that are working with you on the legal case? Maybe if you speak with them about what is going on they can at least give you the procedure on what will be done and help you practice a bit, so you can become a bit more comfortable with testifying. I bet they'll answer any questions that you may have and make sure you are fully confident to testify. It may ease your mind a bit. And, your testimony may put him somewhere like jail where you KNOW you will be safe and not looking over your shoulder.

It's also really not right that your mother said that to you. I can't speak for her motives but maybe she's just really stressed from worrying about you, and sometimes when we're stressed or having a bad day, we say things we don't mean. Maybe you can sit down with your mom and tell her that you really ARE trying, but with everything you are going through it is a struggle and you're just having a hard time and need support. Let her know you understand things are hard for her too, but you really do need the help.

Even though you haven't been doing too well with quitting yet, remember that any minute, second, hour, day, without self harm is an accomplishment. It means a lot that you are even making the effort at all! Have you seen this list of alternatives to self harm? These are healthier, safer ways to cope.

I think it may also help you if you find ways to express your emotions in different ways. For example, you can write, do art, or use music to get everything out so it's not all built up inside. Exercise is also a great way to release stress. Also try and do things to take care of yourself like take a warm bath or shower or watch your favorite movies.

You can do this! This will get better.

-Dez


   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
abuse, relapsing, trigger warning

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.