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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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im done, i cant do this - November 29th 2013, 09:20 PM

Clean for two days but everything went to shit in the last few hours and I'm sitting here on my bathroom floor with the blade in my hand, I can't do this anymore... I'm sick of bullies and sick of being worthless and messed up, I'm sick of being fat and nothing, its just too much.. I promised myself I'd try to stop this time but i just cant im sorry im such a failure hopefully its not as deep as last time... Im trying so hard not to do it cuz if I start I wont stop but I don't know what else to do so..
   
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Re: im done, i cant do this - November 30th 2013, 12:12 AM

Hey there,

I think that two days is a really great accomplishment. It's two days of resisting the urge even when it got really hard, and that is something to be proud of.

As for the bullies, I know it may be scary, but have you ever considered reporting them? That way, they can be stopped. You can also write down anything they say or do to you for other evidence or print out anything they send you online, but even if you don't do this, you should tell someone like a family member, teacher, guidanec counselor, or administrator in school. There are laws in place in many countries to prevent against bullying, so they should be able to be stopped.

Your weight has NOTHING to do with who you are as a person. I bet more people care about you and love you than you think. You touch the lives of so many people on a daily basis, even if you may not always see it. Have you accomplished things lately, even things small (such as the two days self harm free)? Write it down, because it means that you are worth something. Anything at all you like about yourself, personality or physically, even something small? Write it down. Friends, family, or teachers like something about you? Write it down. It shows you ARE wonderful.

Write down or print out encouraging quotes and pictures as well to remind yourself that you can do this.

If you really ARE overweight you can speak to a doctor or nutritionist and develop a diet and exercise plan that can help you lose weight in a healthy way, but if you're not overweight they can help you work through the issues you have with your weight and at least make sure you are eating healthy foods, because no matter what, food is important. But, as I said, your weight doesn't define who you are.

You're not a failure for these slipups as well. They're things to happen sometimes, but they're temporary. They won't last forever and you CAN make it longer than two days next time.

I do think you should seek support, not only for the bullies but in general. Speak to a teacher, guidance counselor, school nurse, coach or club adviser, doctor, therapist, religious leader, family member, friend, or someone else you trust. There are people who care about you and will be willing to try and help. Your voice deserves to be heard.

Try and find other ways to express your emotions, too, such as writing, art, or music. These are great ways to get out your emotions in better ways so they're not pent up. Exercise is also a good way to release stress, as well as stay healthy!

Remember that these bad things won't last forever. School won't be a forever thing, for example, and as you get older you'll meet people who will be a whole lot more mature. There will ALWAYS be new opportunities for you. You have things to do and places to go, people to meet and goals to complete, so don't give up.

You can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: im done, i cant do this - November 30th 2013, 02:58 PM

Hi there,

Well done for being two days free, that is great. I would suggest having a look at the alternatives thread which is really useful, if one alternative doesn't work try another you.

I agree with Dez, talk to someone about whats going on, talking really helps. I suggest reporting the bullying, maybe carry around a notepad and write down everything that is said, or print off whats said if its online.

Don't give up, you can do this. Feel free to contact me if you ever need to talk






I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I'm always here. Feel free to VM or PM me
   
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Re: im done, i cant do this - November 30th 2013, 09:49 PM

Thanks, I've already reported the bullying and the alternatives only work for a little while, then I just end up doing the same thing again... I tried writing things down before and I also love music and art but they also only helped for a little while. I dunno, maybe I just won't be able to stop. It doesn't seem like it. Between my self harming and my potential eating disorder, I'm sorta going a little crazy.
   
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Re: im done, i cant do this - November 30th 2013, 09:51 PM

Hi there,

It's great that you have reported the bullies! It's a definite step in the right direction.

You can always go to the person you reported the bullying to for additional support, or speak to someone else in the school like a guidance counselor. You can tell them what you are struggling with and some of the things you have tried (such as music and art), and how you feel as if it won't end. I bet they have suggestions!

-Dez


   
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Re: im done, i cant do this - November 30th 2013, 10:10 PM

Thanks Dez, I guess I could try that.
   
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