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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Angry I'ts basically me or her - December 7th 2013, 11:36 PM

So basically i have this cousin who self harms like me, but the difference is she cuts for attention, like she gets it all set up and cleans the razors, and then she will also do it with her girlfriend, she takes her jacket of everywhere she goes, and wears tank tops just to show people that she does it ( she's even agreed to doing that ) Everyone tells her that she's going to be ok and that people care, yet when i told people i didn't even get so much as a hug. I started to get better, but ever since she's done all this (and sooo much more) i'm back where i started, my mum also compared our cuts saying hers was worse than mine......which made me want to cut even more and alot deeper i don't know what to do.
   
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Re: I'ts basically me or her - December 8th 2013, 12:00 AM

Hi, courtney

I understand what you are feeling, you are feeling mostly left out and neglected, but most importantly angry.

You've got to understand that SH isn't a game or a competition, And your mother is incredibly wrong, its not about 'How deep the cuts are' or 'how bad they are' its about the fact that you CUT in the first place.

I know ALOT of people who SH In real life, most do it for attention, which i do believe is wrong. Yet, doing it for any other reason is wrong too. You shouldn't self harm, for whatever reason.

Quote:
. I started to get better, but ever since she's done all this (and sooo much more) I'm back where i started
This is the point, you should of kept ahead, not self harming is the Good thing. She is doing the wrong thing by cutting, and she'll learn from her mistakes.

You should do this.

1.Ignore what shes doing, the objective here is to NOT self harm, if you want to view this as a competition between you and your cousin, NOT self harming is winning.

2.For whatever reason she is self harming for, you must remember there is no Right or Wrong reason to self harm. I provide comfort to those who self harm for Whatever reason.

3.
Quote:
Everyone tells her that she's going to be ok and that people care, yet when i told people i didn't even get so much as a hug.
I'm sorry to hear that, you didn't receive as much care as your cousin, and i'm sure that will anger you, However who is the stronger person here? you or her? I'm guessing its you. Why? because you self harm for a reason thats much more harsher than just attention.

Point here is, your stronger. Thus we know you can survive with less care than her, But still you should get equal amount of care. But that isn't the case, sadly, but it doesn't matter since you will still prevail.

And you shall be surprised how alot of people know when a person self harms for a reason that's traumatic and very distressing or just for attention, that being as you said
Quote:
he takes her jacket of everywhere she goes, and wears tank tops just to show people that she does it
Where as anyone else who self harmed not for attention would most likely cover it up with bracelets, and wear long sleeved shirts, etc, though some people self harm for other reasons besides attention yet expose them.

When i talk to people in real life about their SH (And they cover it up)

They talk very shy, and evasive of questions, (atleast in my experience) but when i talked to a person who i knew was doing it for attention, was fairly open about it. Which confused me, or maybe that person was open to it because they accept it.

But the point is here, it's basically the first one to stop.

I hope my advice helped, Courtney, i'm here for you anytime, PM/VM me okay?




   
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