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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Urges are too much right now - December 9th 2013, 08:17 PM

Havent cut myself in months. But ive been getting the urges still and trying my absolute best to not give in. i did great for a while. but right now im losing it. I am going to give in tonight. I know i am. The stress is too much for me to cope with, i had a tough session at therapy on friday and ive been trying to forget it but you cant help whats in your mind. The more you try and forget about it the more apparent it becomes. On top of that i just binged so bad. I feel like a fucking pig, uncontrollable selfish disgusting loathsome worthless fat piece of disgusting shit. Stupid stupid stupid. Bitch stupid bitch. Fuking hell you stupid bitch. go fuking cut yourself, dont know why you stopped anyway you stupid stupid fucked up bitch. You're gonna be stuck in this shit hell-hole for ever. Dont even fuking know why you bother. Stupid stupid stupid


''No pressure, no diamonds''

There may not always be a direct answer to a problem, but there is always a way to get through it.
Strength is the best quality of the human mind and body, and I believe everyone has it; whether they believe it or not. Look for that tiny glimmer of hope deep inside yourself and once you've found it let it blossom, glow and illuminate your life.

I'm always here if anyone wants to talk.


x x x

Last edited by Hypothesis.; December 9th 2013 at 09:08 PM. Reason: Adding language prefix.
   
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Re: Urges are too much right now - December 9th 2013, 09:15 PM

Hi there,

First of all, I want to say that it is amazing that you have gone months without cutting. It is also amazing that you are at least trying to stop yourself from giving in. Both of those things are things you should be proud of, because every second, moment, hour, day you go without self harming is an accomplishment.

Is there anyone you can speak to about it? For example, you can call your therapist up and let him or her know that the session you had on Friday was really difficult for you and now you are having urges to harm, and have binged.

There are other people you can talk to as well. I know it may not always seem it, but there are people out there that care about you and would be willing to help you. You deserve the support, and they can help you work through it.

It may also help just to get yourself out of the house for a while, or doing things that can distract you for a while. For example, you can hang out with friends or family, go to the movies, go for a walk, or even do a hobby. Or, if you can't physically be with a friend or family member right now, you can also call them up or message them on Facebook, because even if you don't speak about what the issue is, it is harder to self harm around people. This list of alternatives to self harm will also give you more things you can do. It may help you to find ways to express your emotions such as writing, art, or music. Exercise is also a great way to release stress and stay healthy. By using self expression or exercise, you will be getting out your emotions in healthy, safe ways.

Also find ways to take care of yourself and relax. For example, you can take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, use a nice smelling lotion, paint your nails, do your hair, listen to relaxing music, hang out with a pet if you have one, or so much more. These are things to do in the place of self harming that will allow you to relax and release stress.

Also know that this one binge won't ruin you. You do need nutrients from food in order to have energy and go about your daily functions, so it is important that you eat healthy. I think that it may help you to speak to a doctor or nutritionist so you can develop a diet and exercise plan to help you get to a healthy weight without doing things like restricting food intake or binging. Your therapist may also be able to help with that.

But, know that the bad things won't last forever. This therapy session may have been hard and you may have been stressed, but know that you are doing so well for trying really hard to not self harm, and for going to therapy to get help in the first place. You won't be in this rut forever. Things have a way of working out, even when you least expect them to.

You can do this.

-Dez


   
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Re: Urges are too much right now - December 14th 2013, 02:55 PM

The therapy was shit
The binge was shit
My cuts are just there, screaming at me to look at them and see what ive done.
No distractions work at that moment in time. It's like i have an eruption of emotion and i just feel like im going to explode so for example if anyone does say go for a walk in my mind im saying ''YOU GO FOR A FUCKING WALK. LEAVE ME ALONE!'

I cant do this no more.


''No pressure, no diamonds''

There may not always be a direct answer to a problem, but there is always a way to get through it.
Strength is the best quality of the human mind and body, and I believe everyone has it; whether they believe it or not. Look for that tiny glimmer of hope deep inside yourself and once you've found it let it blossom, glow and illuminate your life.

I'm always here if anyone wants to talk.


x x x
   
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Re: Urges are too much right now - December 14th 2013, 11:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by x_sepi_x View Post
The therapy was shit
The binge was shit
My cuts are just there, screaming at me to look at them and see what ive done.
No distractions work at that moment in time. It's like i have an eruption of emotion and i just feel like im going to explode so for example if anyone does say go for a walk in my mind im saying ''YOU GO FOR A FUCKING WALK. LEAVE ME ALONE!'

I cant do this no more.
Hey, I'm sorry that you feel this way right now. It sounds as if you're very overwhelmed and just don't know what to do with it. Any amount of new information or logic isn't going to go through because you are already attempting to process so much.
My advice to people who self-harm is to find out what need that it satisfies for them. For instance, the need for release because you feel like you're about to explode. Find another form or release. Punch something, throw something, throw ice at the bath wall, scream until you're out of breath, dance crazily to an angry metal song, just anything that's extremely releasing, because once you get to a certain point, a walk isn't going to do a damn thing for you.
I'd also like you to know that cutting doesn't make you any less of a person, it doesn't say anything negative about you either. You are a fighter, each minute, each second you go without hurting yourself, be it physically or emotionally, is an accomplishment. Each day that you've made it through alive is an accomplishment and a testimony to your strength. People will call you a number of things like selfish, lazy, pessimistic, etc..but those people don't know what it's like to carry around a one-ton invisible weight around all day. Its fucking hard to get up in the morning with something that heavy weighing down on your mind. But you can do it. You have been since before you can remember. And for that, you are a very strong person, don't let anyone, not even yourself, tell you different.
I hope this helps you in some way.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey <3


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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