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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Wanting to cut for the wrong reason - January 14th 2014, 12:44 AM

So this may seem odd, that is odder than usual, and I may inadvertently offend someone, so be warned. To start I haven't cut since early December, and life has been going well. Well that is as well as my life can be. But lately i have been wanting to tell someone, but since i never cut really deep, i don't have that many noticeable scars (which is good). But now I can't get the thought out of my head, that if i don't have that proof, no one will believe me, because of my reputation of being someone who never does something unusual. As messed up as this all sounds, I can't help but think that maybe I should cut. I mean I have been having urges (who doesn't) but till now I have been able to get over them. But now I just can't get that idea out of my head, and distractions don't work because once I latch onto something it takes an act of god to get over it. (I guess you could say I'm a little obsessive).
I don't know what help i'm seeking, I just know it feels good to write this, so if you can think of anything that might help....well...you know what to do.


"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams
   
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Re: Wanting to cut for the wrong reason - January 14th 2014, 01:04 AM

Hi there,

First of all, I want to say that you are doing really well for not cutting since early December, and it's good that you at least have been feeling decent lately! That's really awesome.

It's really not worth it to self harm just to get someone to believe you. It won't really help you any, and you're already doing good with a streak of not self harming, so you don't want to blow that, right? It's really not worth it.

There WILL be people out there that will believe you. Maybe you can speak to someone such as a parent or other family member, guidance counselor, teacher, or other trusted adult. One of these people are bound to take you seriously. You don't have to cut deep for it to be believable. It's not how deep a cut you make that shows there's something going on. You deserve support whether shallow, deep, or something else.

Instead of worrying about their reaction and giving yourself time to potentially have a relapse, I think that it would be best just to tell an adult such as the ones I mentioned above. You can mention that you haven't cut since early December so that's why a lot of the scars faded, but you feel as if you still do at least need support to make sure you don't get back to that point.

This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. Maybe you can do some of these to distract yourself? I know you mentioned distractions don't always work, but sometimes you can play around a bit with alternatives and find one that does. Or maybe hang out with family and friends, since it's harder to self harm in front of people. Also remind yourself of some of the reasons you shouldn't have a relapse (such as well, you really don't WANT scars and it's not worth it to start up again) and maybe that will help.

But I do think you should tell someone, it's really worth it.

-Dez


   
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Re: Wanting to cut for the wrong reason - January 14th 2014, 01:43 AM

Thank you Terabithia, I have wanted to tell people for a long time, and I guess you can say I'm seriously scared about what will happen. (Probably has something to do with my cousin who killed himself a couple years back.) But maybe it is finally time to say something, it's been a long time in coming that's for sure.
If anything else I am feeling a smidgen better, just because I got what I wanted to say out, even if it was to a group of "strangers". So hoping to hold off until I get the nerve to say something.

Thank you again.


"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams
   
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