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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Name: Jamie Sue
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Angry i keep on doing it, and the urge - March 25th 2014, 02:24 AM

My ma is pissing me off alot more lately. I was clean for 2 years and then went back to it about a week ago. I dont know why but I have these urges all the time now. What can i do. I have no one to talk to. My best friend's suicide trigger my relapse. And to make this more fucking worst i am afraid. I am afraid of everyone around me. I dont want my 3 year old cousin i hurt myself. She so young. Please i need help and i dont know what else to do.
   
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Re: i keep on doing it, and the urge - March 25th 2014, 10:26 AM

Hey there,

I think that when your ma starts to make you mad, you should try and remove yourself from the situation before things can escalate and make you feel worse. Then, when things are calmer, maybe the two of you can sit down and calmly discuss what it was that was making you annoyed or angry, so it's not a problem anymore. I don't think she INTENDS to make you angry.

Your friend wouldn't want to know that you are self harming because of their suicide. They also wouldn't want you to grieve forever. Your best friend would understand that you are sad and upset over it right now, but they'd also want you to move on and be happy again. Maybe you can write a letter to your friend where you get out anything you'd have wanted to say to them if they were still here. What you do with the letter after is up to you, but the point is to get out what you'd want to say. I've even heard of people using this suggestion to "talk" to loved ones sometimes.

Why are you afraid of everyone around you? Not everyone is bad and not everyone will hurt you. You deserve some people you can become close to and get support from, and even just hang out with. There are people you can trust.

Your cousin doesn't necessarily have to find out you self harm. It may be hard sometimes, but try and keep it hidden as much as possible around her, and try and fade some of the old scars by using products such as cocoa butter or bio-oil, or even using makeup to cover up some of the injuries.

I know you said you have nobody to talk to, but maybe you should look into seeing a professional. They won't judge you or yell at you, and they can be a really big support for everything that's going on. You can even start by talking to a doctor or someone in your school if you're still in school.

This is a link to a list of hotlines. They cover a variety of topics, so I'm sure you'll be able to find someone there to talk through your feelings with.

Try and find ways to express your emotions better. Writing, art, music, and exercise are all good ways to do this. I know you've seen the alternatives thread before but I urge you use one of these and keep trying different alternatives that may work better.

Try and find things you can do with your time as well. You can join clubs, social groups, or sports teams, or even volunteer. Do a hobby, take a class pertaining to a skill, or even just do something like get out and watch a movie. It may help lift your spirits and distract you some.

-Dez


   
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