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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 17th 2014, 02:53 AM
hey there,
My parents found out like September and mine were really upset and they were extremly worried (not as much now) my mom cried when she found out even my dad was emotional about it. I felt really bad about It, but overall it was better than I expected. It actually helps a lot for me with my parents support.
It really depends on who your parents personality if found out because it could be almost any reaction. So I won't know on what to tell you
But welcome to teen help hope you like here!
Feel free to PM/VM me anytime
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 17th 2014, 08:26 PM
I told them and almost ended up in a foster home. They cant seem to embrace that their child is SHing no matter the reason...
It was either stop SHing or going in a foster home...
I stopped but i was still grounded for a few months
I didnt have a good time telling them, but hey thats just me...
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 18th 2014, 12:22 AM
A few times they've grounded me, a few times they've yelled, a few times they've brushed it off. It all depends.
Remember not every parent reacts the same, though, so yours may take it at least decent!
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 18th 2014, 12:29 AM
My parents never had to deal with such things so when I approached them about my feelings they didn't react well. I think they'd react worse if they find out.
If they do find out, how should I approach them with the topic?
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 18th 2014, 12:33 AM
One thing you can do is write them a letter explaining everything. At least that way, you would be getting things out without nerves or interruptions getting in the way. Cover main points like the fact you self harm and why, and let them know some things that will or won't help.
If you tell them in person cover similar points, but make sure to sit down with them on a day when they are in a relatively good mood.
In either case, maybe you can print out pamphlets on self harm so they can reaed over them and become more informed.
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 18th 2014, 10:04 AM
I can't remember how my parents reacted when they first found out I self harmed. When it got bad and I had to keep going to hospital my dad would be very dramatic saying when is it all going to stop but my mum (when she was well) was rather supportive and expected it so it never came as a surprise to her. She saw it happen on a day to day basis where my dad didn't because he didn't live with us so he didn't understand at all. Mum was often worried that I'd go too deep and die because of the severity of my self harm but she managed it with me.
Maybe you should think about telling your parents. I'm sure they'd want to support you as much as they can and you deserve that support. You really do. I know it's a hard thing to do but a lot of the time being open and honest is the best way. It's just something you can think about for now.
Keep smiling
’Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.’
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 18th 2014, 12:37 PM
They do mental at me, yell at me sometimes slap me - which kind of helps - then punish me by taking things away. I might as well just have a bed in my room sometimes the number of times they have punished me. Oh and its always "Right you are going to the hospital" Never let me take care of it or look after it. I just get threaten with mental hospital which the hospital does not agree with thankfully.
I would as others have suggested write a letter saying that you do it and this is why, but you always are careful and look after yourself. IF you need their help then you will always ask for it or go to the hospital to get it looked at,
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 20th 2014, 09:25 PM
I have quite a story here so I thought I'l share it..
I've self harmed since I was 12 and my parents found out when I was 15. I had gone to get my prom dress for our end of exams prom (I actually organised it...another story another time, but I wasn't even going to go). Anyway, my mum said she wanted to see it and I really wasn't sure about doing it but I came downstairs in my dress that was halter neck (so no sleeves) I was planning on getting some bracelets or gloves for the day to cover my cuts but when I came downstairs I was wearing my wool gloves that didn't go with the dress.
My whole family (Mum, Dad, Sister and Brother) were watching tv so I came into the room and showed them my dress. Mum loved it but then got confused and said I wouldn't be wearing the gloves to the prom and told me to take them off. I told her no. This went on for ages - it got really heated and I was crying saying I couldn't and my Dad started shouting and my siblings were just watching.
Finally it clicked for my mum and she just said "No." and we went out into the hallway she told me to take them off and started screaming. This went on for ages.
We ended up in my room and I told her that I had cut myself and she was so angry and screaming. She refused to believe it - she knew my friends did and never thought I could, she thought I was a happy child but I was really struggling and was just putting a brave face on.
I started to have a panic attack and she kept telling me to show her. I had fresh cuts on my arms but scars on my legs. So I lifted up the skirt of my dress and showed her. Everything is a bit of a blur from then but I can remember throwing off my gloves too at a point.
I had already started talking to a counselor with school because I hated how I was feeling so I was trying to fix it and I let my mum know - it calmed her down a bit but she was still distraught.
It was a really tough time for me.
Two years later and I'm 17 - I'm actually worse than I was before but my mum has been helping so much. She understands now and has said sorry for how she acted, she was just shocked. It means so much to me how supportive she is and I forgive her for how she reacted.
When someone loves you they can get so upset to know you're hurting so much. I think the best way for you to deal with parents is not to hide it - to let them know you're in a rough space so that if they ever see anything it isn't too much of a shock.
I hope everything gets better for you and you're in my thoughts
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 25th 2014, 01:01 PM
My mum was sad (she cried), but said we would "get the help I need", and my dad already had figured it out, but said he wasn't surprised, because of all the physical and emotional pain I've been in. Hope if they find out you get a good response I was scared my mum would be mad but she said she could never be with me struggling so much. Good luck
Re: How did you parents react when you self harm? -
May 25th 2014, 02:38 PM
At first, my mom was really confused and worried. She had my brother take my door off of my room (weird I know), and searched my room for blades and such. She already knew about my depression from a counselor in 7th grade, and so she just kept searching my room, hiding sharp things, checking my body for cuts. Threatening to put me in the hospital. A few times she called the ambulance, and we went to the ER and I talked myself out of getting sent to a psych ward. My first experience with treatment was for anorexia, and I sh'd throughout my treatment there and the people couldnt figure out why I was doing it and not stopping. Then I OD'd and got sent to the ER in an ambulance passed out, people at the hospital saw the cuts everywhere on me, and I got sent to the ER. I was completely drugged up at the ER so I don't remember much except my Mom crying and crying. Mostly my Mom just cried. And tried to get me to talk to her.