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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Relapse is a strange beast. - February 9th 2015, 05:23 AM

I just relapsed. I was one day shy of three months and three weeks clean.

It's funny. I was resisting for a while. I'd kept stopping myself when I came very close. But then I gave in.

And I didn't even get a rush. I still feel the same. But yet I want to still do more and more cuts to see if maybe that'll hep me any.

I don't know what I'm asking and I don't know how I even feel right now. I'm not suicidal but if I died I don't know if I'd complain I guess.

Mreh.


   
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Re: Relapse is a strange beast. - February 9th 2015, 08:33 AM

Hey Dez,
First off, the amount of time you've been self harm free should not be discounted. Recognize that this has been nearly 1 third of a year and thats amazing.
It doesnt cancel out or gets undone. The things youve learned by going free for that long is wisdom you get to carry over with you.

I think one thing you could do is try evaluating what went wrong and why. What made you give in? Were you bored, tired, angry? Were youhaving urges for some while? I remember you posted about staying self harm free not too long ago, so you were definitely trying keep things going but somwhow you slipped. Try pinpointing that, the possible events that lead up to it, and what you can do for next time.
One thing i always found interesting to try but never did was a recovery kit or happiness box whatever you want to call it. Basically you would prepare a box of various items to keep you going. It helps in times of urges because we tend to make so muxh reasoning on why we shoild be self harming during the urges that we dont realize how we could change things around by chalkemging what we "need" perhaps opeming a box with pre-prepared alternatibes can help because then you got it ready for the moment you need it. It is also like a good exercise for self compassion.

Please don't feel too bad about it okay? I know how frustrating it can be but the least thing you need is to be hard on yourself. Believe thatyyou can get back to that amount of SH free and even more.
You can do it, and TH is here okay?
   
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Re: Relapse is a strange beast. - February 10th 2015, 12:12 AM

Dezzypoo. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. The important thing to remember here is relapse happens, it isn't a sign of weakness though. It's a sign that you're human. We've all relapsed at sometime. Now the thing to do is get back up, and start over. Be proud of the time you made, and set a new goal to make it longer. You're strong okay? I love ya. PMs and texts are always open got it?


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She walks away the colors fade to grey. - Black Keys

Keep your head up, you're only one grey day away from sunshine.

10/15/2015- The day he came into my life and made it all okay.
   
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Re: Relapse is a strange beast. - February 10th 2015, 01:03 AM

Thanks both of you.

Wow, I didn't even realize that's almost a third of the year, wow.

I dunno, I'm still getting urges and it's so weird I guess. I would've had therapy today except it snowed. Bah.


   
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Re: Relapse is a strange beast. - February 11th 2015, 06:40 AM

Hang in there sweetie. If you ever need to talk you know I'm just a text or PM away okay? I gave you my number so we could be there for each other and I'm sticking to it. Stay strong love ya Dezzypoo.


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She walks away the colors fade to grey. - Black Keys

Keep your head up, you're only one grey day away from sunshine.

10/15/2015- The day he came into my life and made it all okay.
   
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