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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 5th 2015, 04:19 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I try so hard to be strong for myself, and for Ava. I truly do. It's such a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning, or to clean the house. I need to finish up my schooling, but I can't even get myself to go half the time. I'm struggling so hard, and I feel as if I shouldn't be struggling at all. I just have no idea what to do.

I'm seeing a therapist. I'm trying to push through it it. I just fear that tonight I'm going to relapse and just slice my skin away. It's been so long, and all my scars are healed and slightly faded. Staring at them isn't enough anymore. I want new ones. I think it's pretty screwed up that cutting yourself is looked down upon, but people actually scar their skin in patterns and it's considered art.

What I do, when I cut makes me happy. It makes me feel okay, and I just miss being happy. I'm still trying so hard to hold on. I don't want to have to deal with the anxiety of cutting, but I'm not sure if I can go without it this time. Sorry for ranting. I just needed to get this out.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 5th 2015, 04:36 AM

Hey there,

You said that when you cut it makes you feel happy. Maybe you can try and challenge that thought a bit. In the moment it may feel good, but it's so not worth the aftermath. It's not worth feeling guilty or anxious afterwards. It's not worth Ava accidentally seeing a scar and asking where it's from. It's not worth risking infection or having to worry about adding on to your problems.

It is worth recovering so you can be a success story. It's worth being able to be proud of yourself because of how hard you tried, and are still trying. It's worth being able to say that you went through a tough time but were able to come out on top. It's worth being able to teach Ava that she can get through anything.

Maybe you can do something that may take your mind off of self harm, even if it's just something like quietly cleaning or reading a book. If someone else is in the house, you can take a walk or spend time with that person. Put on a movie you really like.

Maybe instead of using pain, you can do artwork or writing that symbolizes what you want to do to yourself?

I'd also be honest with your therapist about what is going on because that is how they can best help you.

I know you can do this.

-Dez


   
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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 5th 2015, 03:18 PM

Thank you.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 6th 2015, 10:59 PM

Hey Adelaide c:

I was going to say basically what Dez said. Whenever I feel the need to self-harm, I get my watercolors and paint little butterflies and hearts on myself. Maybe you can have Ava do it with you so you don't feel lonely? I think she'd have a lot of fun painting butterflies with you. If that doesn't take your mind off self-harm, maybe you could get a wet washrag, put it in the freezer, and then when you feel the need to hurt yourself even after doing something to distract yourself, you v can take it out and kinda wash yourself face off with it, or hold it until you can't take the cold anymore. That tends to work for my friend and I. Good luck, you can do it!!


"Remember your loved and you always will be. This melody will bring you right back home." - Linkin park, The messenger. Stay strong everyone!! You are always strong enough to get through whatever life throws your way, no matter how hard it may seem.
   
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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 8th 2015, 04:00 AM

Thank you guys so much for the advice. Means alot that you actually cared enough to reply.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 8th 2015, 03:05 PM

i am going through the same exact problem right now...trying to be okay because i have my son and i dont want him to see me like this....but its eating me alive....try to think of all the things that make you happy other than cutting, i know its almost impossible in the moment but take a deep breath and just go play with your daughter(:
   
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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 8th 2015, 03:07 PM

Thank you!


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 10th 2015, 04:00 AM

I know the feeling you are going through. I have been self harm free for close to two years and right now I am really struggling and I think about relapsing quite a bit. I think about how good self harm made me feel and things like that and I am tempted quite a bit. However, I also try and think of all the negatives that came along with cutting. Reminding myself of the negative results that cutting can bring has always been enough to stop me from harming myself.

It might help if you try and do the same thing. Maybe you could make a list of reasons why self harm would be a negative instead of a positive. I know that I have done this in the past and the negatives far outweigh the positive things I think I am going to get from cutting.

Lastly, I think its great that you are talking to a therapist and I hope that you will be able to open up to her about this and get some advice and support from her.

I hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: Sometimes, enough isn't enough. - April 11th 2015, 04:38 PM

Thank you.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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