Friend is Controlled By Her Parents?

[AnonymouslyPosting]

I've recently moved North, and I have a friend who lives where I moved from. She's told me several times her parents are crazy. I believe her - I've met them. They are hypocritical, judgy, controlling, and other out-of-their-mind crazy and stifling.
It concerns me, though, because she is nearly twenty and would like to visit me, would like to get a job, would like to go do things that aren't nit-picked by her over-possessive mom and dad. They ignore her and let her do whatever as long as she doesn't leave.
And then, when she's pretty much desperate for anything, they throw her the barest bit of attention. She's not very strong-willed (courtesy of her D*****-bag parents) and won't do anything, but it makes me angry and upset. My mom knows them, too, and her parents were like that.
More concerned with themselves with her. She had a very difficult life because of it. We want to help, but don't want to offend her. That they don't care what she does or how she is unless it inconveniences them is infuriating. What can I do?

[hocus pocus]

Hi there,

I think it's nice of you to want to help your friend! I think all you can do is offer to be there for her if she ever needs anything. Other than that, maybe you can encourage her to do the things she's interested in doing despite the disapproval of her parents. Your friend is over eighteen; she's legally an adult, so she doesn't need her parent's permission to visit you, or to get a job. You said that your mom had similar parents, so maybe you can ask your mom how she would have wanted to be helped when she was your friend's age.

Hey,

It's great that you want to support your friend but until she is willing to take steps to get away from her parents or insert her wants and desire there isn't a lot you can do. I think that you can definitely be there to support her and maybe when she brings things up to you about her parents you could try and encourage her to speak up for herself or get away. But, you can't force her to get away from them even though you know it would probably be better for her.

You could always try and have a conversation with her about some of the things you have witnessed and the things that concern you about her parents. However, there is always a chance that this will not go well and you have to weigh the pros and cons of talking to her about it.

What are some things you would like to do to help your friend? I think there are little things you could do but in the long run she has to make the decision to get out, get a job and speak up for herself.

Best of luck.

[denis9]

I have a similar problem as the author of the story, but already I have no idea what else to do.