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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy too much and i need help asap - April 12th 2015, 07:54 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself the downfalls of self harm... I've been clean of cutting for two months now and I was doing great for a while. I had someone in my life who finally thought I was good enough. But what am I supposed to do after I get in a big fight with that person and he tells me I'm too much. When will I ever be enough for anyone. I'm always one of those two stupid options. Good enough. Not enough. I was fighting with my boyfriend and he was really hurting me with some of the things he said so I ad a comment about not being enough. Big mistake. "I don't mean to be a jerk, but quite honestly u r too much for me how would you feel if you had to worry about your boyfriend killing himself or cutting himself". He apologized immediately and felt really bad about it but now I'm laying here sleepless crying into my pillow thinking. I'm tired of having to fake a smile and pretend. I'm tired of playing pretend. I can't decide right now if I want to slice into my skin with the sharpest razor until I can't feel anymore or if I want to just throw in the towel and kill myself. All I can think about is his words. And everyone else telling me I'm not good enough or I'm too much. I don't know what to do anymore. Why am I so cursed to never being enough
   
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Re: too much and i need help asap - April 12th 2015, 10:09 AM

Hey there,

I think a lot of people that Self Harm/Are recovered from Self Harm, wish they could go back in time and change things. I think while self harm isn't a positive thing, your struggle with it has build you as a person, make you stronger and who you are today. You can't change the fact that you self harmed, but you can change your view on your recovery.

The right person is going to love you for you are, your best and worst, scars and all. Anyone that is worth having in your life isn't going to make you feel guilty or like you're too much for them. People say things they don't mean in arguments but it sounds like yourself and your boyfriend need to sit down and have a talk. It may be difficult but it really sounds like you really need to talk about things and where your relationship is going.
No one is worth hurting yourself over, everything happens for a reason and if it's meant to be, it will be. People come in and out of our life but you WILL meet the right person, whether it's your current boyfriend or not. You're amazing the way you are and shouldn't have to change for anybody. Please don't believe that you're not good enough but you are.

I would strongly suggest taking a look at the alternatives thread, it may help distract you from the urges to self harm, you're doing so well with two months, keep going. I would also suggest taking a look at the hotlines list, if you're feeling that bad you can ring them and they will be able to support you.

If you ever want/need to talk, feel free to PM me,

Take care and stay strong,
Charli


'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'



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