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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Condabomb Offline
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I'm not sure what to tittle this but... - April 19th 2015, 12:49 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So basically my parents saw my cuts on my arms, and they were kinda deep and they started yelling at me telling me that those cuts make them look bad as parents and I'm not sure how to take it.. They are worrying about themselves and not me at the least bit... So basically I told her that when I turn 18 I'm moving out and they may quite possibly never see me again.. That sounds really bad for me to say but said it so. Guess I'm not sure what to do, all they ever worry about is themselves and when they try to "worry about me" it's only to aske what can happen so they look better as parents... I don't know what to do at this poin im sick and tired of it... I wish I could just leave this freaky house...


What are feelings?
.....How do I use them?
....Can Eat them?
...Or sell them?
.......... No? Well, Then I don't want them...
   
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Re: I'm not sure what to tittle this but... - April 19th 2015, 01:35 AM

I always say the same thing to people when their parents have responded rather undesirably to a revelation of self harm. Consider the possibility that they just don't know how to respond. Most people haven't had the same experiences with self-harm as you or I have and they don't have the same understanding. The shock factor that comes with knowing someone had self-harmed, couple with the lack of understanding, generates an anger response. So it probably wasn't malicious or anything, the response, but rather a case of not knowing how to respond and being overwhelmed by it all.

You could encourage them to seek information about self-harm through the internet, or common mental health support services.

If you want to move out after you turn eighteen then that's fine to express. It's a common occurrence, people moving out, and it's not a bad thing to say in itself. However, that's three years away, so it might have just been a spur of the moment thing, unless you have pre-planned a move to leave three or four years in advance.

When people see your scars, they correlate those with the struggle of the person themselves and not necessarily those of your parents. If you were slightly younger, then the correlation with a potential sense of neglect might be more reasonable, but I think most people will understand when and if they see your scars, that it's a matter of personal problems, not a family neglect.

I encourage you to keep seeking help with the issue itself, the self harm. You have already found the forum, but I also encourage you to consider seeking one on one counselling. If you have already got a counsellor in your support network, fair dinkum tell them everything. Well, not everything, but good contact with your counsellor ensures the best result.

Someone your age shouldn't have scars on their skin, but that's not because they simply shouldn't, but it's because they don't deserve to. .


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Last edited by RadioSerenade; April 20th 2015 at 02:03 AM.
   
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Condabomb Offline
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Re: I'm not sure what to tittle this but... - April 19th 2015, 01:45 AM

Thank you so much for everything you have said I appreciate it all, I am in counseling and on anti depressants already, they aren't too big of a help but that's alright, I'll get through this eventually. Thank you so much tho


What are feelings?
.....How do I use them?
....Can Eat them?
...Or sell them?
.......... No? Well, Then I don't want them...
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
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cynefin Offline
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Re: I'm not sure what to tittle this but... - April 19th 2015, 08:28 PM

Hey,

If your antidepressants aren't working, I highly suggest talking to your doctor so he or she can change the dosage or find a medication that is better for you. Medication can be really helpful if you're able to find the right one. You said that counseling isn't to helpful either, do you know why that is? Do you have a good relationship with your counselor? Having a good relationship is an important part of counseling because you're supposed to feel comfortable telling your counselor anything that is on your mind. Sometimes it takes several counselors until you find one that you like, and if you don't like your current counselor, I suggest looking around for a new one.

Hamed gave good advice about your parent's reaction to self-harm, but I can see why you're feeling this way about your parents. Perhaps you can talk to them about this and explain how you feel so they're aware.


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