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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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I did it again - May 19th 2015, 11:54 PM

I did it again, I was SH free for 2 weeks, as I made a promise to my dad I wouldn't SH myself again. But just today I SH myself again and I broke my promise to my dad. He told me he doesn't want me to upset him by hurting myself. I want to stop SHing but how can I? It's so hard.



"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, it's so much easier to go, than face all this pain here all alone."- Linkin Park, Easier to run

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Last edited by Hypothesis.; May 20th 2015 at 01:53 AM. Reason: Removing triggering prefix. :)
   
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Re: I did it again - May 20th 2015, 01:53 AM

You are right that stopping self harm can be really hard. It is an addiction after all, meaning you start to crave it after a while. Try not to be too hard on yourself about this relapse though. It doesn't have to hold you back forever and you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Two weeks was super good and I bet you can go even longer!

Do you know what it is that is making you want to self harm in the first place? Identifying your triggers may be really useful to you because that way you can solve the problems or get advice on them. You can identify them by keeping a journal where you make note of your urges by writing down the date and time, where you were, what was happening, and how you felt. Then you can start to look through this journal to notice patterns or events that may be triggers. Writing in a journal is also a good way to get out your emotions.

Try and find other coping mechanisms that you can use to replace self harm. For example, writing, art, and music are all good ways to express yourself and get out pent up emotions. Exercise is a good way to release pent up stress. This list of alternatives to self harm has even more ways to cope. I know for me I also find it harder to self harm when around people so maybe try that?

Maybe you can do something with your tools. You can give them to someone to hold on to, or put them somewhere hard to get at. This can be in a different room or in a place you have to dig through to get to, for instance, because that way you'll start to lessen the urges while you look so you no longer feel the need to harm.

It is also really important to have support. Find someone to talk to, whether it's a professional, family member, or friend. It can be good to have someone to vent to, and they can also help you find ways to cope and solve problems.

You can do this!


   
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Re: I did it again - May 20th 2015, 04:55 AM

Hey there,

I think that the first step to stopping SH'ing is wanting to stop. It seems as though you want to stop so you have the first step down. Next, you have to work on figuring out what your triggers are. I know I struggle with letting go of self harm until I figured out what my number one trigger was which was anger. Once I figured out what my triggers were I was able to work on using alternatives to try and avoid harming myself. The thing about alternatives is it can sometimes seem as though they aren't working but if you give them time you can find alternatives that work well for you. I know it took me quite some time to find the alternatives that worked for me.

I think you also need to accept the relapses that happen. If you beat yourself up over the relapses it will only make you feel worse and then it might repeat the cycle. If you accept that you relapsed and then work on moving forward you will probably have more luck.

I really hope this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck. If you need anything feel free to pm me.


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Re: I did it again - May 20th 2015, 05:36 PM

Nothing really triggers me. I only do it when I get really upset and I can get upset at any random time. Usually urges happen when I get a feeling in my wrists.



"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, it's so much easier to go, than face all this pain here all alone."- Linkin Park, Easier to run

"When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind." Owl City, Lonely Lullaby

   
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Re: I did it again - May 20th 2015, 06:52 PM

Hi there.

Self harm is hard to beat but it's also a damn fight that's worth fighting for. You have a future and it can be with out self harm if you want it to be. As hard as the urges are, they're just urges, they can't hurt you. Only you can and that's important to know. They're just urges. Surf them like a wave in the ocean. You can beat them and overcome them and when you do you'll be so proud of yourself and happy that every step of the fight would be worth it.

You have to use distractions and alternatives to self harm and any skills that you have if you do have any. And even if they don't feel like they're working, keep using them even if it means using them all day until you finally fall asleep. Basically, don't give up. Keep using them and keep trying so that self harm is never the opportunity for you. Make it not even an option. Tell yourself "I am not going to self harm. I can beat this" and keep and repeating it to yourself. Because its true and the more you tell your mind it, the more your mind will believe it.

You can do this so have hope and keep at it. We're here for you all the way through the difficult times so don't feel afraid to reach out to us for help, okay?

Stay strong and keep safe,
Jessie


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Re: I did it again - May 21st 2015, 03:07 AM

Self-harm is a very difficult struggle and honestly, even more so when a promise to someone we care for is involved. Personally, I feel that overcoming self-harm is something that should not be promised to a loved one, as not only does it put extra pressure on the individual, but also in a way takes away from what should be the true focus - the person getting clean for them.

Please keep in mind that I am in no way criticizing you for your decision - you made a promise to someone you love that you would not hurt them and that is nothing at all to be ashamed of. If possible, I would suggest that you have a nice talk with your dad about why you are self-harming and see if the two of you can come up with a way to help you. Best wishes.
   
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