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Question !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 24th 2015, 11:58 AM

Ok so my mum isn't actually the worst person alive anymore. She is trying to be better now because I talked to her about how she acts to us, but this isn't even what I wanted to talk about. What I was going to talk about was how close I was to telling her I used to self harm and her birthday present was me quitting, or hopefully anyway. She was going on about how I can talk to her and how she knows a lot more about me than I think she knows, just not details of things. Like she knows something has been bothering me, she just doesn't know what cause I haven't told her. I was going to tell her but I don't want to just in case its comes back in my face and I just end up making things worse by telling her. Should I tell her? Like, I want to sort of just so she knows and then she can help, but I don't want to cause she might not take it so well. Ugh I hate this.


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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 24th 2015, 01:57 PM

Truth is parents don't tend to take it great. They either get angry but then calm down or they get a little upset and just want to hold you. I've been there and it was hard when my parents found out but it was worth it in the long run I think. And if YOU want her to know then I would defiantly encourage you to talk to your mum about but just don't react to her reaction in a bad way, whether she gets angry, cries, or is really supportive. She's your mum and in the end she'll understand and she'll want to help you get through this - I am sure of that.

I'm glad that things are a bit better for you both and I hope it goes okay. I'm here if you want to talk.

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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 24th 2015, 06:30 PM

It's really cool that you and your mom are getting along better. I think having a bond between your parents, a loving one, is very beneficial. Of course, sometimes not everyone can have that. I think that if you're nervous about telling your mom, but want to, maybe write her a letter. Say everything you want to say to her. Writing a letter allows you to get a head start on what you want to say, and organize your thoughts. After having done that, you can decide if you want to give it to her or just use that as a reference for when you do talk to her. Unfortunately, you don't know if she will hold it against you or not in the future. Try to focus on the now, and if she does hold it against you, we will be here for you. I think it's worth a shot. Who knows, this can make a world of positive difference


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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 25th 2015, 03:20 AM

It's wonderful that things have improved between you and your mother. Whether or not you should tell her that you stopped self-harming as a gift to her is something you are the best judge of, but I would think she would be relieved a) that you are no longer engaging in SH and b) that you are comfortable confiding in her about such an important issue in your life.

At the end of the day, I'm sure you will make the right decision. Perhaps give it some more thought and if you do decide to tell her, think in advance about how you will word it. Best wishes.
   
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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 25th 2015, 03:55 AM

It's awesome that you and your mother are developing a closer relationship. I think it's important that you're honest with her. She'll be there to help you and work on getting you in a better mindset. It's super crucial that you have a support system while you're trying to stop self-harming. If you can't tell her face-to-face, you could write her a letter or have someone else who knows with you while you tell her?

I wish you the best of luck.


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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 26th 2015, 12:27 AM

I'm glad things are improving between you and your mom.

If you are having doubts about telling her right now and are worrying about things between you two will go back to the way they used to be, I suggest waiting for a bit before you tell her. Let the positive interaction continue and relationship grow, and when you feel like you are in the right place to tell her and know when she reacts negatively she's not going to throw it back in your face, then you can tell her.
   
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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 26th 2015, 09:15 AM

Thanks guys for the replies, I'm going to wait a while to tell her and then she said that if I ever need to talk to someone instead of her I can always get a psychologist back so I might do that after I tell her. But I'm going to wait a while till I'm sure I can tell her.


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Re: !!!! So close to telling her..... Help me!! - May 26th 2015, 11:24 PM

I think talking to a therapist would be very beneficial.
   
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