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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy My little brother told me he self harms... - May 26th 2015, 12:21 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I didn't know where to put this...

Yesterday evening I was talking with my 10 year old brother about depression because a lot of kids in his art class are using that as their theme for their art. I jokingly mentioned how I used to think I was depressed but I was just being a drama Queen, he brought up that I used to self harm...
Basically a few months ago he was telling me about a YouTuber who was talking about how he used to cut himself and I was kinda outraged at the impression the guy was giving off to a potentially young audience, so I told my brother that when I was younger I would sometimes hit/punch myself if I was upset (like I'm pretty sure most people do at some point) and told him it doesn't solve anything and to never do anything like that etc. He told me that when he was being bullied (nearly 2 years ago) he would sometimes punch himself. I repeated what I said and told him to talk to our parents if he felt that way again.

Skip to a couple months later last night and he told me he's taken a pair of scissors to his room and tried to cut... He's 10 years old... I told him I was going to tell our parents but he begged me not to so I gave him until the end of the week to tell them about how he's been feeling depressed or I will...

I honestly don't know what to do and wish I'd just told them straight away... I don't know what to do, he's only 10...
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Re: My little brother told me he self harms... - May 26th 2015, 05:42 AM

I've moved this over to Self Harm since that's what your question is about.

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Re: My little brother told me he self harms... - May 26th 2015, 05:56 AM

I started cutting at around ten years old and I wish I got help earlier. A lot of professionals have told me that it's a young age to start cutting. I can see where you're coming from, because I also have a younger brother and I try to keep things he tells me confidential so he feels like he can trust me. However, I have told my parents about concerning things he has said just so they're aware.

I think you should sit down with him and give him time to explain more about what he's going through. Maybe you can refer him to some alternatives. I think it would help if you explained why your parents need to know about this, and then maybe you could go along with him when he tells them or even tell them for him. You could also tell your parents that you're worried about your brother's emotional state without giving away the information that you know.

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Re: My little brother told me he self harms... - May 26th 2015, 10:43 AM

I know a few people who started cutting when they were 10 and it continued for many years. Once they start at that age they don't stop because they grow up doing it. As Calico. suggested you can tell your parents just don't tell them specifics, and you can tell him that you are there to help him through this and if he ever wants to cut, to talk to you first. Even if he doesn't talk to you, let him know you are there for him if he ever wants to talk, I know that being there for someone makes them more open to you and willing to tell you. Also telling him ways for him to hurt himself is not a good idea anymore, I mean I know you didn't mean to give him ideas but now I wouldn't be telling him anything anymore. Hope it all goes well

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Re: My little brother told me he self harms... - May 26th 2015, 10:59 AM

I'm 21 in a few days and I've been self harming since I was 9. Thats nearly 12 years. I wish somebody had helped me at age 9. Then maybe I wouldn't have spent all the years in hospital that I have and maybe I wouldn't have put my family through all that I have done. Things could have been so different and I couldn't have asked for anything else.

Talk to your brother about what's making him feel this way, when it started, why he chose to turn to self harm etc. Let him know you're there for him (if you feel able to support him). Talk to your parents and tell him your worried. Personally I would talk to my parents if I knew my sibling had started self harming, especially if they were ten. But that's down to you. Maybe write the pro's and con's of telling your parents and see what is the best chose for you.

Just keep your chin up

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Re: My little brother told me he self harms... - May 27th 2015, 01:25 AM

I think you handled this situation well, but I agree with the posters above that it may be a good idea to discuss what he is going through with him before telling your parents. He may feel less overwhelmed that way and more likely to open up.

Kudos to you for dealing with a very difficult situation so well. Best wishes to you and your brother.
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