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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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XXCassXX Offline
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Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 23rd 2015, 11:21 PM

Well, I'm new at this so bare with me. I'm 17 years old and have been cutting since I was 14. I got caught the 1st time. Honestly I didn't know how to hide it, I hadn't even thought I need to for whatever dumb reason. My parents flipped, they took my phone, computer, iPod and they wouldn't even let ride the bus home not to mention how much they didn't trust me. That of course made me upset, so it only got worse. I've cut ever since, but my parents think I've stopped. I got caught a second time and they sent me to a psychiatrist that sucked majorly. I struggle with depression and borderline personality disorder so it's not like my parents beat me or anything I just don't know how to deal with my emotions well. It's all in my head. A lot of times I just feel like crap, because I know it's all my fault. Plus I have social anxiety and very low self-esteem. I don't trust people so no one really knows anything like this about me, but it's getting worse so maybe this is stupid, but I thought I'd try this just to get some feedback.
   
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Re: Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 24th 2015, 12:30 AM

Hi there.

I thought I would reply to this because I also have Borderline personality disorder and have just spent two years in hospital for treatment for it. I know how hard it can be to deal with your emotions but I'm learning new ways to cope and manage with them and maybe you need to get some support in place to help you learn to begin to manage them too. DBT is often used which can be really helpful but even just having someone to talk to can be beneficial. You aren't alone in this so don't suffer in silence. People love and care about you and want to help you so let them in and let them be there to support you, as hard as it may be at the time, it could be well worth it and remember we're always here for you too.

I know self harm can become addictive but you're worth a lot more than the pain you are putting yourself through. Have you seen our list of alternatives to self harm? Here it is: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Not everything is going to work for you but keep trying things and keep trying new things because as long as your activily doing something then you're keeping busy and not harming yourself. You know? I know it can be tiring but you have to keep yourself safe.

Recovery is possible and you can get through this. I know it's hard and long but with help and time you can get through this. And if you want to talk to anyone, know I am always here and you can always PM me. I don't mind at all. Know you have to keep choosing recovery again and again. Every time you get an urge, fight it, choose recovery. You have a life worth living and deserve to enjoy it.

Stay strong and stay safe.
Jessie


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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 24th 2015, 12:47 AM

The only things that seem to help sometimes is music and writing.
   
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Re: Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 24th 2015, 02:52 AM

If music and writing help, then definitely try to take advantage of those things. You could set goals that are music or writing related. A few years ago, I bought two songs on iTunes for every week that I didn't self-harm. That incentive helped me go several months without harming myself.


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Re: Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 24th 2015, 04:53 AM

I like that, that's really good idea. One of my problems is though that I more know I need to stop then want to, that's another reason it's so hard.
   
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Re: Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 24th 2015, 05:15 AM

Trying to stop self-harming when you don't want to is really hard. I understand why you don't want to, though. It's a skill you're using to cope, even if it is a negative coping skill. No one can make you stop and you don't have to stop if you're not ready to. Try and stop self-harming whenever you feel ready. And, when you do, we're here for you.


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Re: Honestly... I'm a cutter... - June 24th 2015, 05:46 AM

Sometimes I want to stop knowing I'm only making things worse by doing it and I feel really bad, but most of the time like you said it's what I've been used to for 3 years so it's just what I do. I've even walked to the bathroom to take a shower and realized I picked up my exacto knife just out of habit.
   
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