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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Lionheart Offline
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Question Is my mom suspecting me? - May 28th 2017, 12:54 PM

I need a few opinions on my moms behavior.
Lately it's been really warm and since I have scars on my lower arm and shoulders I wear long sleeved shirts mostly (at least around them). I'll probably switch to T-shirts and armwarmers or something later in summer when it gets even hoter, but for now long sleeves will have to do.
Anyway, the last two times I was with my parents (one time at their place, one at the birthday of my aunt) my mom pulled my sleeves up. The first time I kind of avoided it (I don't really remember how but I got away) and the second I was like "What are you doing" and she said "I wanna see what you have on your arm". Luckily I wore my watch and she saw the watch and droped my sleeve again (the scars are slightly higher so she didn't see them. Especially as it was already starting to get dark and they are pretty faded and I wore something over them).
But I'm getting kind of worried. Like, do you think she is suspecting me?
I'm aware it would be easier to just let her know, but thats not an option for several reasons. Lets just say, in the end it would probably harm my mental healt more, than constantly lieing and avoiding situations where I could be discovered.
So is this just me being paranoid, or is she really suspecting me and just trying to get evidence?


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Re: Is my mom suspecting me? - May 28th 2017, 02:46 PM

It's hard to say whether or not your mom suspects anything about your self-harm. Perhaps your watch created a bulge under your sleeve and she wanted to see what it was, or maybe she's seen a glimpse of your scars and knows they're scars or thinks you're trying to hide something else (like a tattoo).

You said you don't want to tell your mom and that is completely understandable. Do you think you could ask her to refrain from pulling your sleeves up? You can let her know it makes you feel uncomfortable.


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Re: Is my mom suspecting me? - May 28th 2017, 07:25 PM

Hey,

Does your mum have a reason to suspect you of self harming? If she's seen glimpses of scars before she may simply be worried and unsure of the best way to approach asking you about it, or may want to check what she has seen. Otherwise, she may have thought she saw something, like your watch, and wanted to look at that too. I remember when I was in school I wore bracelets to cover my scratches and a girl I was friends with tried to look at them and I snatched my arm away because I was worried. The fear of being found out is strong sometimes but as said above, it may simply be that she wanted to see your watch.

That being said, it's true that there's no sure way to know what it was your mum wanted to look at but I agree with asking her not to pull your sleeves up if you're uncomfortable with that. You don't have to tell her why, but you could just ask her to ask instead of doing things without you agreeing to them first.


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Re: Is my mom suspecting me? - May 28th 2017, 08:40 PM

Hey there,
I'm sorry that you mom's behavior is starting to worry you. When I started self-harming, wearing bracelets and jackets and long sleeves only did so much but after awhile I think my mom starting catching on since I never used wear stuff like that frequently and especially not in the summer. My mom did soon find out, though since my scars were closer to my hands. Just know that she's concerned about you and I know she wants to help. It might just be best to come clean the next time she tries to pull your sleeves up. I know how difficult this conversation can be so feel free to PM me if you need some pointers on those types of conversations.
I hope all else goes well for you and just know there are others ways to let out your frustrations!




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Re: Is my mom suspecting me? - June 6th 2017, 05:27 AM

Thanks! You guys helped me calm down a bit about this.
I guess I'll wait and see if it happens again and then decide on what to do.


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
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