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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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arepo Offline
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Opinions on when to wear certain clothing. - June 13th 2017, 02:52 PM

I'm not proud of my self harm scars, but I am also not in the least bit ashamed. They are a part of me that is here to stay and I've accepted that.

Before I relapsed a few months ago I wore shorts sleeves whenever I wanted and didn't care if people stared or what they thought. To an extent, I still don't. Whenever I have new marks that are still healing I do wear long sleeves. Mostly to not expose my nephew to self harm, but also to create a barrier between anything still healing and public spaces (like railings, tables, etc).

Currently the self harm I did about two weeks ago is pretty much completely healed. It's all just bright red scars. It makes me a bit more self conscious with them being so noticeable compared to everything being faded before. So I'm wondering how long others who self harm tend to wait before wearing clothes that expose newer scars?

My family knows, so I'm not worried about them. More so around strangers. I know I shouldn't care about the opinions of people I don't even know and I'm probably going to wear short sleeves anyways due to the heat, but still wanted opinions. Maybe just to feel reassured or something.


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There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
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Re: Opinions on when to wear certain clothing. - June 13th 2017, 03:23 PM

Hey Oliver,
to be honest, how much time after cutting I expose my scars depends on the marks themselves (obviously if the cuts are deep they heal longer). I generally tend to expose them when I believe them to be not-so-noticeable. It depends on the season, too. If it's cold and I don't need to take off my jacket/jumper/whatever, I just keep them hidden. If it's too hot to wear long sleeves and the scars aren't pale, I cover as much as possible with foundation and powder.
If you're not confident with your scars for now, have you considered accessories like a watch, bracelets or bandanas? I personally started wearing bandanas to cover scars and became so attached to them that I love wearing them in general.
I hope I helped a bit. Take care of yourself.
Sue


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Re: Opinions on when to wear certain clothing. - June 14th 2017, 06:04 AM

It depends on the weather. When its cold I just wear sweater 24/7 so idk .When it is summer I just wait until they are not as noticeable anymore, so like 2-3 weeks about? Again it depends on how deep the cuts are too. Hope you can stop self harming soon. PM me if you need to talk, I'll help, or just listen. Whatever you want me to do. Thx. <hugs>
   
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Re: Opinions on when to wear certain clothing. - June 14th 2017, 08:33 AM

Hey Oliver,

I'm actually the opposite of you. My family doesn't know about my struggles with SH, so I'm much more conscious of what I wear when I'm around them than I am when I'm just out in the world. It definitely took me a while to reach a point where I could be comfortable having my scars exposed, regardless of how old they were. Before I got to that point, I would wear a lot of bracelets to cover them up (think bad early 2000s fashion) if wearing long sleeves wasn't an option. Now, I just don't care about the opinions of people that I don't know and will more than likely never see again.

At the end of the day, your scars are a part of your story. Sure, they're a darker part of your journey, but it's still a part of it. The way I see it, that isn't something to be ashamed of. Wear what you feel comfortable in.

Also, strangers rarely pay as much attention as we think they do. It's likely that random passersby won't even notice or will end up writing it off as something else/keeping their mouth shut if they do notice.

Take care,
Sammi


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Re: Opinions on when to wear certain clothing. - June 14th 2017, 07:19 PM

It probably would have been helpful to mention that my scars go from my hands/wrists to my shoulders and are very uneven/lumpy since a lot of them were deep and there's just...a lot of them. There's a noticeable dent in my one arm due to this. I know I can't hide them without sleeves or arm warmers, but I tend to be more self-conscious around people that I don't know. Some people aren't so discreet about staring, which I guess really isn't that big of a deal because I shouldn't care about their opinion.

I've been wearing short sleeves anyways because I'm not willing to sacrifice my comfort for the general public in 90F/32C+ weather when I'm not around a large population of people who could be triggered (such as at my therapy office). I don't know why I care so much about the opinions of strangers, so that's definitely something I need to work on.

I appreciate everyone's opinion on this! Since I'm just doing what I asked about anyways this can probably be closed.


“There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being.
There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the
wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new,
against every odd that is stacked against them.” — Nikita Gill
   
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Re: Opinions on when to wear certain clothing. - June 14th 2017, 07:53 PM

If you have armwarmers, you could always just bring them with you in a bag or something and if you get uncomfortable with people staring you could put them on. Also, something that helped me to get more comfortable with going out in public with visible scars was doing it for short periods of time. Like, I did it once when my boyfriend and I were only going to be out for like 30 minutes. I got exposure and was a tiny bit uncomfortable but I wasn't stuck in that situation for hours on end.

I'll go ahead and close this. Just wanted to add some of the things that have helped me get a tad bit more comfortable with not wearing my armwarmers all the time.


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