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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Chaotic_ Offline
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Strange. - January 5th 2018, 12:06 AM

How do I explain my urge to cut to my counselor?
I've talked about it abstractly with him a couple of times and it's never went bad.
It's just always a hard conversation to start.
The issue I've been having lately hasn't really been the thoughts themselves, but more so when I'm around sharp objects, or using them, what happens.
I haven't self-harmed, sure I've thought about it.
While using scissors I'll lay the blade on my skin or rub it on my skin but not hard enough to even scratch.
I just like the feeling.
I like the control of "I could do this."

How do I explain something this messed up to a counselor?
Like I want to write an e-mail to him but everything I write sounds ridiculous and I don't know how to write this one.
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Re: Strange. - January 5th 2018, 04:42 AM

I first want to say that it is awesome that you haven't self-harmed. You should be proud for resisting the urge.

I think an email is a good way to tell him about this since it can help you get everything out without nerves or interruptions getting in the way, and you can take time to explain it. Plus, even if you don't go into every detail in the email, it is still a starting point for a bigger conversation. If you want to, you can post a draft of what you are thinking of telling him here and we can help?

I think a lot of what you wrote here makes sense. I think a lot of people start (or continue) self-harming due to the feelings of control they get from it so that is not strange at all, or messed up. It's completely valid.

This is just an example but, maybe something along the lines of

"While I haven't self-harmed, I have gotten urges to do so. This especially happens when I am around sharp objects. While I don't actually self harm, I lay them on my skin or rub it but not enough to leave an injury. For me, the reason for the urges are more because this is something I can control and feel as if I'd have power over."

Then if you want you can say that you found it easier to say this in the form of an email, but that he's able to discuss it with you in a session?

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Re: Strange. - January 5th 2018, 06:02 AM

Congratulations of being self harm free! It is amazing that you are doing what you can to work through this. I know it is, likely, difficult to do at times.

When I would have difficulty communicating certain things to my counselor I would write it down in my journal and bring it to the session with me. When I first started doing that I had to tell her that I brought the journal because there were things written in it that I needed to say. However, after I had brought it in enough she got used to it and would know that if I had my journal there were specifics to talk about during the session.

If you have the option to email your counselor you could do that as well and let them know what you have been struggling with and that you would like to try and address it next time.

If you are uncertain what to say you could consider writing something similar to what you shared here.

Best regards.

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