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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question Idk. Can people relate? - August 22nd 2018, 06:31 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have always found it weird that when I want to sh, I sit there and think back to the things I miss about it.
I won't go into much detail but it's like the way it felt the sensation of drips and how they landed. The stinging after a couple of hours. The calmness.
And when I say all that in my head in a lot more detail and graphicness how appealing it sounds. And what others that are feeling the way I am now might find it appealing too. Or people that have never done it before.
Like I understand why people who have done it relate the good sides of it to actually do it. But the way we explain it possibly causing someone to do it for the first time. That's too much for me to handle.
Does anyone else get this? Or is this just me being weird.


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Re: Idk. Can people relate? - August 23rd 2018, 02:55 AM

I definitely think about the things I miss when I have urges. I won't go into detail, but I definitely have certain thoughts and images that run through my mind when I think about self harm. So you're not alone there.

I also understand not wanting to explain in depth to someone in case they get triggered or want to try it out. Perhaps if you ever do find yourself having a conversation about self harm or reasons why you may have self harmed, if you talk about the feelings you associate with it you can also mention a lot of the downsides that you associate with it to discourage people from wanting to.

Do you have other things to do in place of self harm for when you get these urges? For example, for certain sensations someone may hold ice (or even food color it if they don't think it'll trigger them more), or do other things to get the sensation. I can link you to the alternatives list if you need, but I did want to let you know you weren't alone.


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Re: Idk. Can people relate? - August 23rd 2018, 01:42 PM

I don't self-harm regularly but I haven't yet stopped either. When I want to, I do think of things that I miss or things that I want from it.

I really like Dez's idea of talking about some of why you self-harmed and then mentioning some downsides. I had a friend or two a few years ago and they tried it after they knew I was doing it. I felt some guilt, but eventually I had to learn that self-harm is a choice. It was a choice my friends made; I didn't make it for them. So that may be something to think about.


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Re: Idk. Can people relate? - August 26th 2018, 06:57 AM

I found no downsides though. I didn't care about the scars.
I only stopped coz someone threatened to tell my parents. I couldn't have that. I don't live at home anymore. Like I'm an adult. I 5 years clean. But .. everyday the thoughts are there.


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Re: Idk. Can people relate? - August 26th 2018, 02:32 PM

Did you stop for any other reason besides the possibility of your parents finding out? Stopping for them may have been helpful but what can sometimes help more is finding reasons to stop for yourself. Sometimes people make more progress when they do it for themselves, because they are ready and they want to, as opposed to doing it for someone else. Maybe you can think of some reasons to stay self-harm free for yourself. For instance, you could say that your body deserves kind treatment.

When you did stop self-harming, what coping skills did you use? If those skills or alternatives are still working, you could try those, or find some newer ones to engage your brain. Sometimes it helps to switch things up.


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