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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Self sabotage - April 25th 2019, 08:05 PM

[SIZE="a"]Can someone help me understand what self-sabotage is exactly? How is it a form of self-harm? I think I self-sabotage myself, but I am not really sure.[/size]
   
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Re: Self sabotage - April 26th 2019, 03:19 AM

I believe that it is a form of self harm because you knowingly want to injure yourself, be it emotionally or by damaging to your future. How do you think you self sabotaged yourself? Are you doing it on purpose or accidentally? If on purpose I'd say it is self sabotage, if unknowingly I would say that it wouldn't be.


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Re: Self sabotage - April 26th 2019, 04:54 AM

Self-sabotage is when part of your personality acts in conflict with another part of your personality.

Sometimes people who feel stress, lonely, and sad tend to hurt themselves.
   
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Re: Self sabotage - April 26th 2019, 02:22 PM

I think self-sabotage can mean a lot of different things. I know someone who struggles with allowing themselves to be content, so when they are content they feel the need to worry or do things to make them worry (e.g. get a new job, move, etc) or otherwise change that happiness.

I think it's a form of self-harm because you (most of the time) knowingly self-sabotage. Is there anything in particular you want to talk about-anything that has you thinking about self-sabotage?


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Re: Self sabotage - April 26th 2019, 09:44 PM

[SIZE="a"]Thank you Court and Cynefin for clearing that up. It does help a bit. Cynefin, some of the examples you listed are ways I self-sabotage. I know I can be successful at my job, my personal well-being and mental health, relationships with friends or family, etc; but I always manage to screw it up one way or another. Or when something is going good, I always somehow turn it around and it always goes downhill.

I think this may be due to the PTSD I have from my childhood and adolesence. I was always put down, told I am not good enough, called names by both bullies and people that I thought were friends. They were more like making mean comments than giving constructive criticism.

Is there a way to move past it? How do I stop self-sabotaging myself? I already see a counselor on a regular basis.[/size]
   
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Re: Self sabotage - April 26th 2019, 10:45 PM

That's great you're seeing a counselor! That's a step in the right direction. I too used to self sabotage a lot. The only way I got past it was realizing I was doing it and coming to terms with the fact that I wanted to self sabotage. Knowing why you want to self sabotage is key. If you get to the bottom of why you want to, then that's another step towards fixing your issue - your counselor should be able to help you with that if you can't do it on your own. Not going to lie, it took my 5 years to stop. The path can get rocky and you'll want to give up hope of not self sabotaging any more, but the best thing you can do is keep pressing on and telling yourself you want to change.


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