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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
killing-myself Offline
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ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 01:56 PM

ok i dont know how to get my friend from cutting. well its not fulling cutting yet. she just takes a dull butter knife and just saws at her arm until her arm turns red and about to open. but i do know it will go too a point where she does cut. and i just need some help from stopping her. any advice will be very thankful.
   
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 02:17 PM

First of all, I want to say good job about telling someone, it's hard to do...even if it is just to a forum on the internet

Does your friend have proffesional help she can go to? Like a doctor or a councler? If she doesn't, you should probably tell a trusted adult or teacher or guidance councler. They'll really help her get the support she needs.

As a friend, there are also things you can do. I know when I feel like I want to self harm, I call my friends and talk it out. Sometimes I can go over to their house and just have a vent session. Don't rush her into spilling all her emotions right away. If she wants to talk...go ahead...but don't pressure her. And you know..sometimes you just need someone to tell you it'll be ok.

You're doing the right things. You're a great friend to her and I know you'll be very helpful to her

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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 02:33 PM

well she doesnt have a doctor or any professional help. and i am the onlyone that knows she does it. and she doesnt want anyone to know. if she does say her mom will ground her and if that happens she will go and fully cut. and i dont want her to do that. and i have just bee there for her for about 2-3 weeks. i know she hasnt done it for about at least a week.
   
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 02:40 PM

Ok...I'm going to sound a little harsh here...but you need to ignore her and go ahead and tell someone.

Being in her shoes...I know that she doesn't want people to find out. She wants to stop...but isn't sure how. She'll come up with excuses and try to convince you not to because she's scared that people will just be....weird about it.

She might be mad at you for telling, but seriously, she can't do it by herself or just with you. I know you mean well...but she needs the support


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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 03:02 PM

well her life is hard enough as it is.and telling someone it will make it harder. but i promised i would not tell. i cant go back on any promises.
   
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 03:07 PM

if that's how you think you should handle it, I suppose it's up to you.

But just remember, some secrets arn't good to hold on to.

I can't force you, but I think it's the right choice to tell.

Whatever happens, I hope it works out.


Compromise is not a sign of weakness. It is the strength to withstand caving to an ultimatum.
Living with one takes great strength



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Last time I cut myself
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 03:09 PM

i guess right now in her life it is not the right time to tell.
   
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 17th 2009, 03:20 PM

Well I won't tell you to tell someone because it's up to you. I will encourage you to talk to her about it though. Let her know you're there for her; let her know you care. It helps to know that someone is there for you. Then try talking to her about it gradually, see if she'll open up to what's making her feel this way. Let her know that talking to a professional can really help her, and she can have confidentiality rights. If she still refuses, just be there for her. It can help more than you may think. It's really great of you to reach out and help her; everyone needs someone like you in there lives.


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And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 18th 2009, 10:45 AM

Hey,
You might have told your friend you would keep it a secret but some things can't be kept a secret. Whats happens if your friend went further... How would you feel then. I think you need to encourage her to get some help now before things get worse. You could help her to tell someone. She might not want anyone knowing but how is that going to help her. It won't. She needs help.
   
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oh, really?..
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 18th 2009, 10:54 AM

if you don't think it's a good idea to tell someone at this moment in time then don't. because at the end of the day she's your friend and you know her better than we do, obviously. make sure she knows that you are there for her, but don't be too in her face about it. as long as she knows you are there if she wants to talk about it, she will. make sure you don't pesture her about it by asking her all the time but at the same time you don't want to seem uninterested. you could ask her something like, "how are things?" or "is everything ok?" therefore giving her the opportunity to open up to you without asking her straight out.
if things get worse then you need to consider either getting her some help or telling someone who can. at this stage it doesn't sound like her self harm is that serious, but it can escalate very quickly into something much more. keep an eye on her and keep being the good friend that you are.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
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Re: ok i have this friend. - January 18th 2009, 02:41 PM

i think your doing the right thing asking for help ndthat your concernd
i think you should concult her parents? or someone trust worthy nd thats an adult.:]
iknow its probably skarry but yer doing the ritte thing:]




how stubborn are the scars when they wont fade away..or just a gentle reminder that now are better days
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