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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
UltraViolet Offline
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simply nothing - July 22nd 2009, 04:46 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

cut the shit out of myself!!
just slashes, hack out the pain.
i seriously cant cope
WHAT IS THE FRIGGING POINT!
there isnt one.
'humans nature to survive'
BOLLOCKS
its not im mine.,
and i dont want to.
fuck cutting for coping.
it doesnt work, doesnt work, doesnt work.
just feeling the hurt physically.
i hate being inside my own mind.
i cant.
simply, cant


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Elizabeth Offline
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Re: simply nothing - July 22nd 2009, 09:50 PM

Hi Lea,

I'm sorry that you feel the need to self injury right now. I know how bad the urges can be.
My first concern is your wounds. I want to make sure you treat them properly so they don't become infected. Be sure to keep them clean and try to clean them twice a day.
Like you said, It is human nature to surive. This is not only physical, but mental as well. Self harming is a mental way to cope. It isn't the best or safest method either. Writing how you feel down, screaming into a pillow, going for a jog, or taking a relaxing bath can all be helpful. These are just some of the safer methods to help you cope. A whole list can be found on a sticky on the top of this fourum that can be useful.
Sometimes it can difficult to find reasons to quit. Once you find your reasons, stick to them. Quit for your friends, your safety, you mental well-being, and so you can wear short shirts in summer. You deserve to not be hurt, and you have to make the choice.
I hope you are feeling better. If you ever need anything help, feel free to PM me.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Faye. Offline
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Re: simply nothing - July 22nd 2009, 11:02 PM

Hi there Lea,

I'm so sorry to hear that your feeling like this at the moment, but you need to know that this won't last forever. It's so hard to believe that at the moment, I know, but when you feel bad there's a tendency to think that it's going to stay like that. I promise you it will change eventually.

I had a teacher once who said that 'can't' doesn't exist only 'I don't know how yet'. I'm sure that right now it feels like my teacher was wrong and that you can't do this but I think if you really want to, if you have the drive and determination you will survive. Though many things are being drowned out at the moment by that need to destroy yourself the part of you that wants to be here and enjoy life still exists.

It can be hard to cope and at times hard to see the point of carrying on the struggle and it is at these times that we turn to self harm so it's understandable that at this point of emotional stress your turning to it as a coping method but like Elizabeth said there are other less dangerous ways of dealing with the emotion.

I really hope that things work out okay for you. And remember when you don't want to carry on trying that if it was easy to do then where would be the satisfaction in achieving it.

PM me at any time,
Faye


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: simply nothing - July 23rd 2009, 04:43 PM

i have no reason not to SH.
im sick of this
sick of everything


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Elizabeth Offline
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Re: simply nothing - July 23rd 2009, 08:26 PM


You do have reasons not to self injury. Somewhere inside you, you want help and want to quit. Why else would you be seeking help by posting here? I think if you give the tiny voice inside you, that wants to quit, a chance, you'll be surprised. If you aren’t going to quit for your own well-being, quit for me. I care about you. I'm sure you have friends and family who would be hurt without you.
You said you are sick of everything, I've felt the same way before. Then I found something enjoyable. It can be a song, a bubble bath, a person, or anything positive and uplifting, and then I wasn't sick of everything anymore. I slowly started to realize the little enjoyable things I was missing around me.
I think you can quit self harming. I believe in you.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: simply nothing - July 23rd 2009, 10:18 PM

i dont have any reasons!
i post here, becasue this is where i write stuff.
this is where i tell someone anyone about how im destroyin myself!
and is that helping? no, its only where i get imput of anyone, for a nyone to know what im doing/
and i do not have any friends
and i dont know how people on here can assume i have.
becasue i havent
iv never ever had any
my family, iv hardly got any of them.
and to b honest, there the reason i started to feel like this.
if there part of the cause them y in hell would i care if i hurt them?
they dont care that they hurt me. they dont care that im hurting
im not SHing because of them
its for thousands of differnt reasons.
and takin a bath isnt goin to make me feel better.
any alternatives just put me off SHin for an hour.
or i SH at the same time as doin an alternative
nothing works.
it always comes back to SH,. and i dont know if i wanna stop, becasue i know i'll just do it again anyway
and i dont give a shit anymore.
the thing i want most.
it not to struggle through, not to survive.
just to die.
to leave.
to SH until i do finally let go.
i know ur most likely tryin to help.
but am i even askin for help?
im askin for support. something iv never had.
someone to be differnt with me.
alternatives might work for the masses. but since when was i one of the SHer group?
y do we get put in groups?
everyone feels differnt, for differnt reasons.
im already fucked up. in my mind, they way i think.
everything.
y change?
y stop SHing? y stop the depression when it will only come back again and again.

and by posting this what have i achieved?
just more tears. more self loathing. more SHing
its taken me 10 minutes to write this, becasue of the continued SHing.

and i know i know sound like a selfish bitch, being nasty to people that are tryin to help.
but its because i dont know how to be with people.
i dont know what to say, not to disapoint u all.
if i write that whatever ur saying to me isnt helping, and it isnt going to.
how do u feel?
like i arent trying?
like i want attention?
like im being stupid, and i dont deserve to post here?
or does it make u think that actually people are differnt and all the alternatives in the world might actually not work for me?
like im a lost cause?
becasue thats sure as hell how i feel


'thanks to you i never trusted...'
- Boy Kill Boy




This depression is a killer...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
gottagetwell Offline
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Re: simply nothing - July 23rd 2009, 11:11 PM

hey
i self harm 2 and av bin gettin help 4 dat and other probs 4 nearly 2years and it hasnt changed me, nothing is more powerful than your mind and and people do what the most powerful part of their mind tells them. if u ever wanna talk im here and im a really understanding person

x


"and the trouble is, if you dont risk, anything, you risk even more" -Erica Jong

"Its not who you are that holds you back its who you think you're not"

"You dont have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you" -Dan Millan

Stay stong guys Love Chloe!
xx
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: simply nothing - July 23rd 2009, 11:14 PM

hi lea,

I realize that i'm just a little younger than you, and i shouldn't try and talk like i know everything, because i definitely don't. But i've been in your position... i really do know what it's like. I'd rather not talk about it, but believe me when i say that i can relate. Maybe not exactly, but close.

SH helped me. And honestly- i didn't have a reason to not SH either. my life was fucked up and nothing helped... 'cept cutting. Which... i realize that its horrible to say, but as long as you aren't going too deep, it can be a way of coping. But i hope that you'll stop soon anyways. I say this because cutting is simply a side effect of a more serious problem and i think that people tend to overlook the underlying causes.
People seem to self harm when their lives are fucked up and they don't know how to hold on. So yeah, use alternatives or whatever, but ultimately- you need to try and find a reason to live. You need to find a reason. Even if the reason is simply to find a reason. Life's a bitch and sometimes it never seems to end, but believe me, if you can manage to hold on, you won't regret it. There's no real cure for pain, and nobody can give you a 10-day risk free trial or cure-all, but you can try. For yourself.
   
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