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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ivanna_B_Me Offline
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No more - January 19th 2009, 09:40 AM

pain... Idk but even though i'm out of that very negative environment... I seem more depressed than usuall... But now I'm just good at hiding it... probably becuase no one expects it... I cut twice last night... I don't even remember the last time i did... I can't remember... am i just going crazy or am i just midding the call of the blade...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No more - January 19th 2009, 07:35 PM

I'm sorry that you are in a negative environment, I'm guessing you would have left if you could.
I got good at hiding my cuts too and I felt a sense of, almost pride, in how good I got. You have to learn to be proud of something else. Try sewing, writing poems, cooking, or trying a sport.
If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.
   
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Re: No more - January 20th 2009, 04:01 PM

I think you need to get to the bottom of this problem, you're obviously going through a hard time so *hugs*
You know relapsing is just a part of recovery yeah?
Have you spoken to anyone about this, like a Parent/Guidance counciller? xx


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No more - January 20th 2009, 04:34 PM

Hey Mary,
Sorry you are feeling more depressed than usual. Do you think anything has made things worse? Perhaps if you could identify what is making things worse might help you to take control of it and stop making you feel like you are. You should try writing or talking about your feelings, because hiding them and bottling them up will only make you feel worse. You are not going crazy just struggling with some difficult feelings. I am here for you if you need anything :-)
   
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Re: No more - January 21st 2009, 07:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren_160 View Post
I think you need to get to the bottom of this problem, you're obviously going through a hard time so *hugs*
You know relapsing is just a part of recovery yeah?
Have you spoken to anyone about this, like a Parent/Guidance counciller? xx
No, I haven't talked to my parents becasuse i moved out... and that was the main reason I used to cut... I had to move out to many problems... and the counselors that i have access to (sounds horrible), will just stat crying... and my bf will prbbly brk up with me... cuz he said he would if i ever did again... and that was the one thing he will follow through with...
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No more - January 21st 2009, 09:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivanna_B_Me View Post
No, I haven't talked to my parents becasuse i moved out... and that was the main reason I used to cut... I had to move out to many problems... and the counselors that i have access to (sounds horrible), will just stat crying... and my bf will prbbly brk up with me... cuz he said he would if i ever did again... and that was the one thing he will follow through with...
Mary, I think that you should talk to someone else then. If you can't find a counselor that won't stop crying, then keep looking. Find a local support group, go there and talk. Find someone who can support you through this. Do you have any friends that could provide you with support through this? Mary, I know you can beat this. You just need to calm down. You can work your way through these urges, I know you can.


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