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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Marshki Offline
Its Shazzy time
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Exclamation No life line left - August 3rd 2009, 11:03 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Is it possible for me to ever stop self harming and abusing my body?
i think i've given up hope after many long years of trying not to, its like now its been entwined with me for so long, it is part of me.
I hate all the scars, makes me so sick and disgusted at myself, i've lost all hope of being "normal" (i don't even know what normal is) with lying about them and having to hide them all the time.
I want to stop, and face the world but i can't.

I feel so alone, i need to feel loved and stay strong.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No life line left - August 4th 2009, 12:50 AM

It is possible to stop, very possible. The fact that you want to stop is a huge step in the right direction.You can stop, you can break the cycle.

You said that you hate the scars, well use that as a motive to stop.No more self harm means no more scars.You are not disgusting, not at all. The scars are a part of who you are, but you can make them a part of your past, they don't have to become part of the future.

Can you talk to someone about your self harm? An adult you trust, or an counselor? Talking can help, and a counselor can help you get through the issues that cause you to self harm.

You should try some of the alternatives, they can be very helpful when you want to stop, or just helpful in general. Alternatives to self harm can be anything, as long as it is safe and keeps you from hurting yourself.

Don't give up. It can be better.And just remember, TH will always be here for you.

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

PM me

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No life line left - August 4th 2009, 04:57 AM

Its very possible to stop! And I believe yu can do it! A good website to look at is www.TWLOHA.com that has GREAT info! Good luck

*Jeremiah 29:11-
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No life line left - August 4th 2009, 12:05 PM

Hey there Shazzy,

Good news - It is most definitely possible for you to stop harming.

Please try not to give up hope, Shazzy. Hope is a wonderful thing and with that you can do wonderful things. I don't think that you have truly lost hope because you are here and you are talking to us, asking us things, Shazzy, and that is really great. It's an incredibly courageous thing to do and you should be proud of yourself for doing that too - so well done.

It's good that you have been trying to give up self-harm already. Try and think about what has helped you most and what has been difficult for you. Use what has helped you most during those years to help you again and try and think how you can improve upon, resolve or avoid those things that have made you struggle the most. Casey has given you a wonderful link that gives a lot of alternatives and distractions which you may find to be one of the most helpful things that you can use as a resource whilst giving up self harm. Talking to someone may be helpful too - an adult that you can trust.

Don't worry about not being 'normal', Shazzy. I don't know what normal is - who does? No one is exactly 'normal', everyone is different. It is okay that you have hurt yourself in the past because it is in the past and you have learned from it. You don't need to hurt or punish yourself further because of something that you've done in the past. You can learn from it, show you have got strength and move on. Sure, it's difficult to move on, but you can do it.

Have confidence in yourself, you can get through this.
Take care.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Marshki Offline
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Re: No life line left - August 6th 2009, 09:02 PM

oh glad to hear it is, though it still seems inpossible, i've tried so many alternatives which have all failed. i just didn't get the feeling and pain i needed.

i can't talk to anyone-wish i could but they won't understand and will think me deluded. even when i try to i freeze so i don't think confiding in anyone else will ever be possible.

the self harm has gotten worse since my last post, deeper. i don't get the same amount of relief as i did before
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: No life line left - August 8th 2009, 12:32 AM

Hey Shazzi,

I am sorry you are struggling but you can definitely overcome; it takes time and a lot of hard work but in the end it is worth it.

I am sorry that the alternatives don't seem to be working but don't give up on them because they can take some time to really kick in. The thing with the alternatives is that your body is so used to getting release through pain that it resists the alternatives but with time it will start to accept the alternatives so keep pushing on with them. Also, when it comes to the alternatives waiting 20-30 minutes before you 'give up' on them can help because it could help the urge pass and it helps your body realize that it can get through an urge using the alternatives.

Another thing about the alternatives is that it can take a while to find alternatives that really work for you; I know it took me a while to find the right ones. The best way to find good alternatives (it helped me at least) is going through the list and marking the alternatives that interest you. For example if you are an artistic person go through the list and find the alternatives that deal with artsy stuff(drawing..knitting etc).

As for finding someone to talk to; that can always be hard and if you feel like no one in your real life will understand than I suggest coming on here and talking to as many people as you can. Another thing that helps is calling hotlines; (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t22-hotlines/) Hotlines can really help you through an urge the people are willing to listen and talk to you. It might help to give that a try.

As for the self-harm getting worse; you should check out the first aid sticky regarding care (http://forums.teenhelp.org/f12-self-harm/t145-first-aid-information/). Remember if the cut gets really bad you should call an ambulance immediately so you get the help you need.

I hope this helped and if you ever want to talk feel free to pm me.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Marshki Offline
Its Shazzy time
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Re: No life line left - August 10th 2009, 06:04 PM

thanks for your motivational words Jenna, i will keep trying. So fingers crossed maybe one day i will find a good alternative.
I wish i had some support or someone to talk/rant to. *sigh* but nevermind
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