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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 8th 2009, 08:41 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Does anyone have conflicting opinions of their SH?
For instance, do you self harm but view it in a positive thing to not feel shame of etc? Or do you look at it in a negative way? taboo etc.

If you don't have qualms with explaining what it truly means to you I would be interested to know.

I'm working through a hard patch at the moment trying to understand if there are people who share almost exact feelings and definitions of SH to them, it would help me begin to straighten out my head
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 8th 2009, 09:38 PM

I don't think that any harm you do to yourself is good. I think that would just be the most logical explaination. It doesn't do you any good, and is self mutilating.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 8th 2009, 10:08 PM

I don't self harm, but i know my best friend does. She's not proud of it, but she's come to terms what she's doing and why she's doing it. She's very open with us about it. Sometimes it just because the physical pain can take the mind off the emotional pain that person is feeling, which is a reason some people self harm. I believe self harm can be a good way for some people to let out their emotions, but as long as it is not done too much.

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 8th 2009, 10:17 PM

I think self harm can be positive in some ways, such as relieving negative feelings and helping the person to cope. Most people who don't self harm though cannot see the positive parts of self harm, especially the way it can help the person who is self harming to get help because it enables other people to see how they are struggling.

There are more negative things though however such as the fact that you are harming yourself and the guilt/shame and many of things. I think that overall it is negative because of those things and because there are other ways to cope and deal with things so self harm is not actually necessary.

So, overall, yes, I do have conflicting opinions of my self harm (and self harm in general). Mostly I see it negatively but I also see some parts positively.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 12:30 AM

I don't self harm really badly but it does take my mind off the emotional pain... and I understand what RunningWithBelievers is on about as I know her personally. My best friend self harms too... I understand why she does it... it's kinda the same reason I do it but also because she feels guilty and things like that.. Self harming makes her feel better. In the words she uses, she says 'it's like cutting away my problems'
   
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xaliciatx View Post
I don't self harm really badly but it does take my mind off the emotional pain... and I understand what RunningWithBelievers is on about as I know her personally. My best friend self harms too... I understand why she does it... it's kinda the same reason I do it but also because she feels guilty and things like that.. Self harming makes her feel better. In the words she uses, she says 'it's like cutting away my problems'
She's right... that best friend is me (thanks for not saying it's me by the way)...
I've been self harming since I was eight. I'm nearly 15 now. That's nearly half my life.
I use it for different reasons depending on my mood. Sometimes it's punishment because I feel dirty or I just feel guilty about something I've done. Sometimes it's relief, if I panic or something bad happens and I need instant relief. And sometimes it's a distraction from the emotional hurt.
I have cut myself about three times for attention recently, but in the sense that I was crying out for help.
I hope all that makes sense.
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 01:51 AM

SH is never positive.
It's fine to feel some of those things - it pushes us to curve our thinking to a more positive bent so that we may cope with these things in a way that does not physically or psychologically harm us in a different way.
I have SHd before.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 02:36 AM

I often have conflicting thoughts about SH. I recently started back up with it after swearing I never would. Sometimes I view it as good because I feel better about myself and about my circumstances. But then later I feel shame because of it and begin to feel dirty/shameful/upset about what I did.

So there you go. I answered your question.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 04:10 AM

I definitely have conflicting thoughts about it at times..sometimes more than others. Truthfully though...SH is never a good thing. Its not something I'm particularily proud of but at the same time sometimes I don't see it as being such a horrible thing either..more of the thought that its not good but it could always be worse. IN the end though the negatives of SH outweigh the positives.

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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 04:30 AM

I don't have only one reason when it comes to self harm, or only one opinion. The thing is that normally when I self harm, I'm not thinking of the negative side of what I'm doing, only the positive. But when it all comes down to it, the moment of relief you may get from self harm isn't worth the pain it causes in your life overall. It seems positive to me when I feel I have no other alternative, but when I'm in a mood or position where I can easily think rationally, I see no good in self harm.





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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 04:50 AM

My conflicting thoughts are more like, other people shouldn't SH but it's okay if I do which really isn't logical.

It's common to have mixed feelings about self harm and I'm sure you'll find a way to work through them.

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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 05:41 PM

I'm loving the truthful replies I must say.

Its interesting to see how even if people who share the same sort of opinions on SH's positive and negative aspects, share them for mostly different reasons.

I'm working through it again after a 2 year "clean" streak and relapsing after listening to a big part of who I am, I've realized I didn't resolve any of this before, I just managed to hide it behind a relationship and artificial lifestyle.

It disrupts me from doing what I love, I'm an MMA and Bare Knuckle Boxing fighter, but I can't compete or train in alot of circumstances these days because of fresh cuts, I have no issue with them but a whole sh!t storm will amass the second they're spotted by people I train with.
   
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 9th 2009, 06:25 PM

my conflicting opinion is medically cutting releases endorphins which makes you feel happy, then why do i feel so bad emotionally.

i also agree with gidig
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 10th 2009, 06:05 AM

now dont get me wrong! SH is not the best thing to do. but i think that SH for me was a blessing. the first time i tried it, i was so depressed.
i was stuck in the decision that i was going to kill myself right then and there just so i could finally punish myself. but then instead, i SH. it helps me controle my suicidal thoughts. its a blessing. if i never had SH, i wouldnt be alive right now.
   
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 12th 2009, 04:45 AM

Self Harm has meant a lot of things to me over the years. It has been both positive and negative, and each of those feelings have made me more and more addicted.
I actually got pleasure out of it at some point because I knew it was bad for me. That sounds really awful now, but at the time it made perfect sense. Other times I wished that I could stop because of how much my life depended on it and I couldn't get through the day without cutting.
   
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 12th 2009, 05:23 AM

I think that it's positive because it can deter suicidal thoughts to some extent.
Negative because it's not a good way to cope.

I think that it's wrong, but I do it anyways. I feel as though I have nothing else sometimes, and it's the one thing that will always be there.
   
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 12th 2009, 05:32 AM

I agree with Emileigh; I think it is positive because it can deter suicidal thoughts.

But, in the end, it is not a good way to cope at all.

I know it is wrong and I know other people should not do it but as for me...I don't know... I don't feel the same way. I know that's irrational but I really can't help feeling that way.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 17th 2009, 05:00 AM

For me self harming is how I cope.
Granted I know there are probably 100 other less harmful ways but unfortunately I am stuck with this for the time being.
Of course I know self harm is bad, personally I think it is horrible.
But unfortunately what I THINK and what I DO are two different things.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 19th 2009, 10:01 PM

Yeah, I mean, I know it's not a good idea....but I guess I have conflicting opinions.
When people tell me they sh, I always tell them what a bad idea it is....that they're stronger than that etc etc, when inside I wonder whether it's really so bad. I know it keeps me alive.



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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 20th 2009, 07:57 AM

I do self harm, and part of me LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSS it, and i just feel like it's great, and I did something smart, but then the less selfish part of me thinks of my friends and family and the rest of society and I realize it was stupid, and I could lose a friend, or be hated by a family member and then I HATEEEEEEEEE it, and then when these emotions are conflicting I just get triggered, and I'm just super confused!!!!!!
   
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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 20th 2009, 10:16 PM

i dont view it as negative or positive, its my way of coping and im not proud that i do it but i dont freak if people see marks or anything, i do try to cover marks but its not always possible and i mainly cover up at work or if im around family members who dont know i do it tho no person who knows about it agrees with it not that i expect em to to be honest just dont like the dirty looks i get when they see ive done it or the whole lecture about how i need proffessional help


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 21st 2009, 11:51 PM

I would say that self harming is negative. It can help you cope, but in the end it's not really helping. It`s only a temporary escape from life--and aren`t there so many ways we can escape from life OTHER than self harming? Like getting lost in a book, going for walks, etc, etc.
In my life, I know that no one understands why I self-harm (or why I did, considering they don't know I did it recently), and that just makes me feel even more worthless. So, self-harming is a negative thing for me. Just my opinion.


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Re: Anyone here conflicting with their opinions on their SH? - August 22nd 2009, 04:20 AM

I realize that SH is never good, for anyone.
But as I've seen many have said already, Gidig for one, I seem to think that it's better for me to do it and it's terrible if someone else is doing it.
However, I seem to listen more to people who have SH'd and know what it's like, when they tell me that it's bad and to stop. I seem to realize more how bad it really is and all. (I hope this makes sense, I had to be at school at 6:30 this morning and it's currently 11:30 at night. I'm exhausted, lol.)



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