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Mel14 Offline
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Almost speechless - January 21st 2009, 09:46 PM

Yesterday my mom came into my room telling me to call my cousin. I asked why and she told me that she thinks I need to talk to her. So I called her up and we started talking. I found out that she has been going through a lot A LOT of drama. She has been dropping her grades in school and she also cut her own hair because she got sooo crazy. She then told me she's been cutting herself. She says she did it with her friend and now she has about 24 cuts from her wrist to her elbow. I also found out she told her mom that I'm basically one of the only people she can talk to. I always thought I could handle anything. Guess I can't and now I have NO IDEA what to say to her, at all. I invited her to stay the weekend with me next week because she said she really needs to get away from her own town. I can usually cheer her up and get her on her feet again but now...I'm not sure what I should say or what I should do. I know she has always had a self esteem issue. I don't know why though, she's so pretty and she's also very popular.
I just never felt soo depended on before. If you guys can give me some advice on what I can say to her, or what we can do next weekend to make her feel better/get her mind off things, that'd be amazing =)

Thanks in advance,
Megan
   
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Re: Almost speechless - January 22nd 2009, 12:48 PM

Hey Megan,
Just try treating her like you normally do. It sounds like she's going through a pretty bad time. You don't have to talk to her about the cutting if you don't want to, but if she does bring it up tell her how you feel about her doing that to herself. Also, encourage her to talk to someone about it, and ask if anyone else knows she's doing it. Also, try telling your mom in confidence, or aunt, if they know about it and tell them if you find out she's doing anything else like that. It's really dangerous. I don't know if she's doing it because her friend did, or if it is something more than that, such as her self-esteem issues.
Just try to have fun, maybe watch a movie, go shopping, out to eat, take a walk, play a game, etc...I'm glad you're there for her, and hopefully you can cheer her up. I hope this helped. Good luck!


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Re: Almost speechless - January 22nd 2009, 04:42 PM

Megan-

This is such a hard position to be in, and you are not the only person who would feel the way you do in this position.

It's really hard to help a friend, especially when you really want to help, but aren't sure how. But you must also remember, it is not your sole responsibility to 'save' her in a sense. If you feel she is unsafe, you need to get her help. Talk to her mom, call an ambulance. As bad as it sounds, make sure you have her address on hand, if she ever calls you while she's really suicidal, don't hesitate to call an ambulance.

When she comes over, straight up tell her that. Say, I'm going to do what I can, but I'm not sure what will help you best. Will you tell me what I can do that's helpful? Or what wouldn't be helpful? It sounds like a lot of things are in the open about her, so it sounds like she's okay to be speaking about things.

Just do the best you can, as long as you try, that's all anyone can ask for.
Good luck.
Maria.



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