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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
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Name: Jaymi
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Unhappy Another Relapse - September 20th 2009, 09:48 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

After no cutting for 3 months, I felt the urge and I cut this evening.

I am so unhappy, I was doing so well. I fucked up, but I guess thats because all I am is a fuck up.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
forever_hannah Offline
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Re: Another Relapse - September 20th 2009, 10:20 PM

Hey, Jaymi. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. But just because you messed up, that doesn't mean you're a fuck up. It just means that you're human. Cutting is addictive. Giving it up isn't going to be easy or perfect, but if you stick with it, you can get through this.
You went THREE WHOLE MONTHS without cutting. Do you even realize how AWESOME that is?! You did it once, you can get there again and go even further this time.
So you messed up. Everybody messes up. The important thing is that you learn from it. You can't change what happened but you can pick yourself up and move on. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think.
If you ever need to talk, you can PM me.
With hope,
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Em... Offline
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Re: Another Relapse - September 20th 2009, 10:23 PM

Woah Jaymi!

You are so brilliant, you aren't even close to a "fuck up". You are so amazing and fabulous, you give great advice, and just because you relapsed once doesn't mean you won't make the next 5 months SH free. You are so strong. Please don't let this one little relapse hold you back. I know you are better than that. You can and will make it through!

Remember about the alternatives, and don't hesitate to try to use them. If you ever want to talk, don't feel like you can't. My inbox is always open.

Please take care of yourself hun, and turn that frown upside down,
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Another Relapse - September 20th 2009, 10:33 PM

You are not a fuck up at all! After I read the "3 months" without self-harming sentence, I was extremely impressed. I know it's hard, and that shows how incredibly strong you are. Slipping up and relapsing doesn't make you weak - it makes you human. It makes you imperfect, like everybody is.
Think of it this way: doing things that are bad does not make you a bad person. Likewise, making a mistake doesn't make YOU a mistake. You went for 3 months without cutting, for pete's sake! That's amazing, and now you know that you can go AT LEAST that long without cutting again.
Keep your chin up - you are underestimating how powerful and amazing you are. Don't ever forget it.
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Another Relapse - September 21st 2009, 03:07 PM

You shouldn't be disappointed about that!Three whole months is a great achievement!! One slip up isn't too bad. It happens to all of us. I was almost 2 years free before I slipped up. What's important now is that you kick butt and be like "okay, this time I'm totally going to beat 3 months!!" and try to beat your own "high score" every time
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Another Relapse - September 21st 2009, 09:07 PM

Like the others have said, 3 months is such a great achievement Jaymi, don't forget that! We all have times when the urges are hard to fight, the thing you need to focus on is that you managed for fight them for 3 months! Try not to see this as a negative, I know it can feel like a big let down when you give in, but you can keep going and try to go further with a new record

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Another Relapse - September 21st 2009, 09:19 PM

Hey Jaymi,

Like others have mentioned before me, you haven't messed anything up. 3 months is such a long time and I think you should be proud of yourself for that. It's an achievement which nothing can take away. You've proved that you can cope for that long without hurting yourself, and if you learn something from your relapse, hopefully you can go for even longer next time. Do you know what triggered you? I think it's important to remember that relapses can and do happen in recovery. Recovery isn't a smooth road - there's bound to be some bumps along the way. What you do from here now on is what matters. You can't go back and change the past, that's true, but you can learn from the relapse and do things differently next time. Try to not beat yourself up about the things you did "wrong". Know that it's okay to make mistakes, and not everything that contributed to you self harming will have been your responsibility or under your control. Don't let this set you back. You can get through this.

Let me know if you need anything. Take care.
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