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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Lil Offline
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Thumbs down I feel like im suffocating.. - September 27th 2009, 06:19 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I havent self harmed or thrown up for 3 days today the longest its ever been for me,whilst im proud of myself for this,but i feel like i need this badly like everything inclose on me and suffocating me if i dont cut soon.my knife that i cut with i havent had with me for 3 days which is why i havent self harmed yet,il have it with me tonight and im afraid il give in,i dont what to do anymore i dont want to cut but then i feeel i need to its just all taking its toll on me lately..gah needed to vent this.


Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Cut free since March 6th 2013
Purge free since March 8th 2013

Last edited by Lil; September 28th 2009 at 02:08 PM.
   
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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 27th 2009, 06:47 PM

Hey Lili. Congrats for three days! You're getting there. That's so awesome! <3
I'm sorry everything seems so overwhelming right now. Is there any way you can keep away from your tool for longer if you think that having it might make you more tempted to cut? Just keep telling yourself that you don't want to cut. You don't want to throw up. You're worth more than that. You deserve better.
When things get really tough you should try some of the alternatives. And it sounds so simple, but don't forget to breathe. A trick that my therapist taught me for helping with anxiety and stuff is "the square." You breathe in your nose for four counts, hold it for four counts, breathe out your mouth for four counts and hold it for four counts. Just try to calm yourself down.

Lil, you can do this. I don't know you, but I know that you can do this. You're stronger than you can imagine.
PM me if you ever need to talk. I'd love to help. Hang in there.
With hope,
Hannah


Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
   
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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 28th 2009, 05:34 AM

3 Days is good. Good job. I know how hard it is to stop addictive cycles like throwing up or self harming, so it's good that you recognize you want to stop! That's a great start. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you DON'T want to do it. Even if a part of you does want to do it. Maybe there's somebody you could talk to about it? If not, you could always vent on here, or PM me if you need to or want to talk. I'll be here to listen. And remember, you CAN do it.♥
   
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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 28th 2009, 02:07 PM

Thanks for the replies guys i made it to day 4


Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Cut free since March 6th 2013
Purge free since March 8th 2013
   
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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 28th 2009, 03:08 PM

Lil you are amazing! A big well done to you for making it 4 days! It will soon be 5 and then you will nearly be at a week. You don't need to cut; you just want to cut. No one needs to cut and there are much healthier ways of dealing with things. You don't need self harm and in fact you are better off without it. Keep going, you are strong
   
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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 28th 2009, 03:36 PM

Lili,

Many congratulations on your 4 day streak! You know that little excitement bubble that bursts in your belly every time you make it another day? What I do to stay on track is to remember that bubble - it feels like such an accomplishment to achieve a goal. That being said, maybe you should try setting small goals for yourself. Try going for a week, than for 10 days, then for 2 weeks, etc., until you're SH free! I find that helps a lot of people. Getting rid of that knife would also be a good thing to do Another thing I do is I keep a picture of my best friends close to me at all times, and if I think I want to SH, I take it out and look at their faces smiling back at me, and imagine how sad they'd be if they saw me doing what I'm doing, and it REALLY helps me get through the feelings to call a friend and just talk with them - not necessarily about SHing, but about anything to take my mind off of it, you know? We're all here to support you, Lil. Hang in there <3

peace and love


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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 28th 2009, 11:09 PM

DAY FOUR! WOO! Hang in there!


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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - September 29th 2009, 10:34 PM

Lil,

I just wanted to say congrats on making it so long without self harm that is great.

Now, I know how it is to worry about self harming and one way I keep myself from doing it is by throwing away or at least hiding the tool that I cut with. That way you won't have it with you right away and you will either have to go searching for the tool or go out and buy a new one. And, by the time you do that the urge might have died down.

Another thing you should consider doing is using the Alternatives to Self Harm - TeenHelp I know that they have helped me in the past and they would probably help you as well. I know that sometimes it can take a while for the alternatives to kick in because your body is used to cutting but if you give them time they should work. Do you think you can try that as well?

I know that distracting yourself can be really helpful and what is the harm in at least giving it a try?

Please hang in there and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm/vm me.

Jenna



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Re: I feel like im suffocating.. - October 1st 2009, 07:00 PM

Congratulations, Lil! I certainly wish you the best, sweetie, so I'd hope you'll keep going! I agree with lifeisarunaway with the whole "Getting rid of your knife" thing, though. If you do that, it would help get rid of some of the urges and thoughts, right? I know you can remain strong with this, and I certainly hope you know that, too. :]
   
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